They Wrote "Stairway..." After All

Chicken Strokin' Good

Not the first man to stroke his chicken on a NYC subway but this time it involved a REAL chicken.

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Attendent Defect Disorder

NaplesNews.com

An auto shop owner in Sanibel totaled his customer's Porsche when he took it out for "diagnostics," hitting speeds as high as 164 mph and flipping the car on a road shoulder, according to the Florida Highway Patrol.

Kenneth R. Kasten, 50, escaped without injury from the crash, which occurred on a curve by the Sanibel Tollbooth around 6 a.m. The 2008 Porsche Boxster suffered $50,000 in damage. It came to rest upside-down on the shoulder of McGregor Boulevard, east of the toll booth.

Kasten was charged with willful and wreckless driving and leaving the scene of a crash.

"You Have Nothing to Worry About. I'm a Professional"

Human Bed-Warmers ???

Holiday Inn is offering a trial "human bed-warming" service at three of their hotels in Britain this month. Here's the deal... if requested, a willing staff-member will dress in an all-in-one fleece sleeper suit before slipping between the sheets. Then right before you would occupy the bed the "warmer" would slip out and off to sleep you go - kinda' like having a hot water bottle in your bed.
The "bed-warmer" is equipped with a thermometer to measure when it reaches it's optimal temperature of 68 degrees. No word on how much a "human snuggler" will run you - check The Entertainer for that.

Good ... Better... Counterfeit

BALL GROUND, Ga. – One north Georgia man got more than he bargained for when he bought a car from a towing company late last year. Officials with the Cherokee County Sheriff's Office said Thursday that Tye Kuykendall found $200,000 in counterfeit money inside a hidden compartment behind the back seat of the car.

Authorities said Kuykendall bought the car after it sat for more than three years in an impound yard after being towed by Fulton County police in 2006.

Authorities said he was fixing a gas leak when he discovered the secret compartment.

Cherokee officials have called the U.S. Secret Service to help with the case.

He's Not Nuts... He's Just a Saints Fan!

Or maybe he IS Nuts! You know the old saying, "I'd Give My Left Nut for..."
(insert object or model name) well one New Orleans Saints fan is
ACTUALLY taking one - or giving one away in this case - for his team. So a ticket in hand is worth two in the... oh forget it! Read below.

Looking for Super Bowl tickets? You'll have to outbid an entrepreneurial New Orleans resident who is offering a testicle for a chance to attend Super Bowl XLIV in Miami. A listing on Craigslist describes a "well traveled, well maintained, larger than average" left testicle that has been in use for 22 years. Although the barterer is willing to provide pictures and documentation of his offering, interested traders may be confused by the fact that the listing does not specify how many tickets he is seeking.

Live From The Comedy Quarter

The IRISH COMEDY TOUR




For Information or To Make Reservations Comedy Quarter in Neenah

The Kid's Are Alright ....For Now!

People who live around Sun Life Stadium in Miami -- where Super Bowl XLIV will be played a week from Sunday -- have received this advisory -- watch your kids, because Pete Townshend of The Who fame is coming to town.
Townshend became a registered sex offender after being arrested in 2003 in a pedophilia sting in the UK. Townshend was not convicted but placed on a sex offenders list.
The Who is playing the halftime show at the Super Bowl and several child abuse organizations have sent postcards to 1500 homes and several schools close to the stadium, warning that Townshend will be in town.
It's unclear if Townshend is still on the official sex offenders list -- he was supposed to be taken off after 5 years.

Read more: http://www.tmz.com/#ixzz0dwFzSpO7

Hello... Hello....?????

If your cell phone is your ONLY phone like it is for most of us (self included)...and if you've ever misplaced or actually LOST it... it can be traumatic because who remembers phone numbers these days? PLUS you can't call your phone if your only phone is lost... see my point?
So here's a cool website that if that does what you can't - find your lost cell phone. Just type your cell number in and the site will locate your lost phone whether it's at the bar, grocery store or in your own home.

WheresMyCellPhone.com

URINE TROUBLE

Prices and Urine are falling at Wal*Mart. Alcohol can make people do some crazy and stupid things. For instance, picking a fight with a much bigger guy or, say, walking into the meat section at Wal-Mart and peeing on the steaks. That's exactly what 21-year-old Robert Jenkins of Canton, Ohio recently did. In fact, cops say he showered approximately 700 dollars worth of steaks. W-O-I-O in Canton has the story.

Premature Celebrations Pt. 2

I had the story of the Minnesota Viking's website going all "NFC Championship" BEFORE they actually won the NFC Championship - not the first time the Viks have jumped the ship. (HA) Well here's a story from Kentucky Basketball - as they who were lounging in obscurity in previous years far and away from their lofty "Iconic Program" status. The Wildcats finally clawed (HA) back and attained the Number One (#1) ranking this week after going 19-0. Then printed t-shirts to celebrate the fact - which BTW won't be in stock until - 1/27 - and then promptly went out, the very next game on 1/26, against (unranked) South Carolina and OOPS! - got beat.
D'OH!

Like a Full Body Convulsion

A judge dismissed the lawsuit of a woman’s who was arrested for dancing in a park. Yes, dancing in a park. In spite of her looking like Elaine on Seinfeld, I think you’d have to agree that she might not deserve to be behind bars. But oh well, let that be a lesson to all you “dancers” out there.

A judge has dismissed a lawsuit filed by a woman who was arrested in April 2008 for dancing at the Jefferson Memorial.
U.S. District Judge John Bates stated in the court’s decision that the Park Service prohibits all demonstrations in the interior of the Jefferson Memorial, in order to maintain an “an atmosphere of calm, tranquility, and reverence,”
The lawsuit stemmed from an incident with Mary Oberwetter and friends at the Jefferson Memorial on the evening of April 12, 2008.

Ahhh... The "Elaine Dance"

Guitar God Turns 55

Eddie Van Halen turns 55 today.

Punks get Punked

Here's the story... a student body was going to play a "prank" on their basketball coach and tell him that if he could make a blindfolded basketball shot from half court he would win tickets to this years Final Four. What they didn't tell him was that there were no tickets and the student body planned on reacting to the shot as if he made it THEN would reveal to him that it was all a prank and he actually missed. HA!
But here's the funny part.... he made the shot!



"I've been around long enough and done these kinds of practical jokes," said Branstrom, who also teaches biology at the suburban Kansas City school. "I figured they were trying to punk me." Before launching the shot, Branstrom figured he was about to be hit in the face with a pie, so he held the ball up as protection for a few seconds. "I knew they would cheer regardless to make me think I hit it," Branstrom said. "I let it go, they cheered, I heard laughter. I seriously didn't know I made it for a while."
This year's NCAA semifinals and finals are being played in Indianapolis. "I would love a chance to go there," he said. No such luck. The students never had the promised tickets, so they wound up buying him a gift card to a Mexican restaurant.
"Some of the kids felt absolutely horrible that they didn't have tickets," Branstrom said. "But that's not what it's all about. We got some smiles, it was a feel-good moment."

Vikings LOSE... PACKERS WIN!!!!

**UPDATE**
OK AGAIN it's the Chunky Soup Click for Cans Bowl - but a victory is a victory!
This morning the Green Bay Packers notched their 8th consecutive victory in the annual battle and secured an additional 18-thousand cans for Wisconsin food pantries. Way to go all of you who clicked the Pack on to victory.

Premature Celebration

I hate when that happens!
From PFT.com
Here's a web image that temporarily appeared on the Vikings' official web site during Sunday night's NFC title game.
Yes, the Vikings had declared victory over the Saints before victory had been secured.
It happened not because anyone connected to the football operation opted prematurely to declare "mission accomplished," but because some guy with the keys to the official computer account published the prepared image prematurely.
Still, football fans are a superstitious lot, as evidenced by the clothes they wear on game day, the food they eat before kickoff, and the specific spot in the room where they sit during the games, often in the fetal position.
So for those who fear the concept of the jinx, the team's online operation committed the biggest possible faux pas on Sunday night.

Not a K-FAN of Farve

Here's the Audio we never really get to hear - the opposing side of the gridiron.
It's funny how one play can be so differently interpreted by those on different sidelines.
Here's Paul Allen from K-FAN in Minneapolis with the call on the fateful play from the NFC Championship game in New Orleans.

AUDIO LINK

HE IS OZZY

Ozzy's autobiography "I AM OZZY" is out today at a bookstore near you and he was on NBC's the Today Show this morning with Merideth Viera to do the promoting - Classic Ozzy ensues.

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Showcase ShowDOWNNNNNNNNNNNNN.......

Road Rage

Idiots are everywhere... grocery stores... gas stations... on the radio... and especially on the road. A new web site called "Car Pong" lets you post the license plate number of the offending car/driver and let's you give them a piece of your mind for all to see/read instead of for only you to heard.

CAR PONG

HAPPY B DAY B WRAP!

Bubble Wrap celebrates it's 50th birthday today. For something that started out as a wall covering - TRUE - it's become a beloved and annoying part of POP (pun intended) Culture. In case you don't have any access to bubble wrap here's one of my favorite web sites "Virtual Bubble Wrap" enjoy and annoy!

VIRTUAL BUBBLE WRAP

A W K W A R D

*Whew* Alright folks most of us have been there - feelings we're not sure of... our body doing things we can't make sense of... and then being Caught in the Act by a parent. UGH!
This classic circa '70's "educational" film - supposedly made to make a person feel better about the catch - really does the opposite - as most "educational" films do.