PRIEST!!!! "Heavy Metal Parking Lot" Turns 25

"Heavy Metal Parking Lot" is a 16-minute documentary featuring passionate heavy metal fans at a 1986 JUDAS PRIEST concert outside the Capital Centre in Landover, Maryland.
As the 25th anniversary of the classic heavy-metal documentary "Heavy Metal Parking Lot" is celebrated in tour buses, at record stores, not to mention parking lots, SnagFilms is prominently featuring the cult-classic produced by Jeff Krulik and John Heyn.

"We are excited by the opportunity to celebrate this milestone anniversary for 'Heavy Metal Parking Lot'," said producer John Heyn. "The film was such a big part of our lives 25 years ago, watching it now takes us back to that time. SnagFilms provides the perfect opportunity to showcase the film to today's youth and educate them about such a pivotal film classic."

"Heavy Metal Parking Lot" and the two follow-up "Heavy Metal" films are now available for free online viewing at Snagfilms.com.
Watch more free documentaries

B'Jewel Your Tool

The folks that manufacture the vajazzler, which allows women to put jewels on their va-jay-jay, are now manufacturing the pejazzler which, predictably, allows guy to put jewels on their tool.

Fans of the product think it's no big deal.

Guys wear diamond watches and bling earrings, don't they? So, what's the big deal if a well-groomed man wants to put a bit of sparkle in his nether regions?

Official Website

They're Called "Pianists" After All

Have you ever wondered what it would look like for two men to play piano with their penises and, specifically, what that might sound like? Well this clip from one of those random foreign talent shows shows two men doing just that and, obviously, it’s beautiful music.

RACKING Up Penalty Minutes

Normally when hockey players are bad on the ice they take a trip to the sin bin and feel shame for a couple minutes... I gotta' be honest if I played professionally I'd rack up some serious penalty minutes..emphasis on rack. See how Ben Eager of the San Jose Sharks was rewarded to a buxom Canucks fan pressing her pierced boobs against the glass last night.

HOLY SHIRT !!!

One of the rarest rock t-shirts in the world has sold for $10,000 — the largest sum ever paid for a vintage t-shirt. The record-setting sale of a 1979 LED ZEPPELIN t-shirt on eBay has sent ripples through the competitive vintage clothing community. The item was sold by Kyle Ermatinger of Stormcrow Vintage, one of the top online destinations for sought-after authentic vintage tees. The recent completion of the transaction places the purchase as the world's rarest and most expensive vintage t-shirt.

"When I got the sale notification, my jaw hit the floor," Ermatinger said. "Given this shirt may be one of the only ones in existence, the price tag is completely justifiable. It's a rock relic, beyond rare. Admittedly, I still frequently pinch myself."

As the most scarce LED ZEPPELIN t-shirt ever produced, the article was printed in limited quantity as a unique way to replace conventional backstage passes for one of the band's historic 1979 Knebworth House concerts. Ermatinger acquired the item for $123 from the family who ran the shop that screen-printed the original shirts. "At the time, I thought I may have overpaid, until I got back home, looked it up online and noticed it was ranked #1 as the rarest ZEPPELIN t-shirt."

Fox Loves Them Some Aerosmith

Aerosmith drummer Joey Kramer is stepping out on his own for an appearance on the season finale of The Simpsons. In the episode titled The Ned-Liest Catch, Bart, feeling guilty for getting Mrs. Krabappel suspended after one of his school pranks, helps her escape detention, and Ned Flanders winds up saving her life in the process. When Edna and Ned start dating, he is surprised to learn she's been with many of Springfield's men, including Homer and Kramer.

It airs on May 22nd at 7 p.m. CST on FOX.
Aerosmith appeared on The Simpsons in 1991.

The 137th Running of the Kentucky Dumb Asses

Racing across the porta potties at the Kentucky Derby has become a favorite pastime for drunks the last decade or so. But officials this year wanted to put an end to the debauchery and installed canopies to dissuade would-be runners.

And you know what, their plan really didn’t work. People still made valiant attempts while being pelted with beer cans and other foreign objects. Never again should you test the resolve of those who have BAC’s above the Mendoza Line.

Thankfully, the cops were there to “serve and protect” after these brave fellows had concluded their missions.

MOST HATED BABY NAMES

There is no scientific study on the most-hated names, but these results, culled from hundreds of online message board postings by Baby Name Wizard blogger Laura Wattenberg, suggest that people have very strong opinions about what makes a good name.

Here are the least-liked names for both girls and boys:

Girls:

1. Nevaeh ("Heaven" spelled backward and one of the most divisive names around, according to Wattenberg.)
2. Destiny (People dislike names that confer a virtue onto a child, Wattenberg said — and many felt associated this name with exotic dancers.)
3. Madison
4. Mackenzie
5. McKenna
6. Addison (An example of a masculine named turned feminine, which many people dislike, Wattenberg said)
7. Gertrude (People said this name is "ugly.")
8. Kaitlyn (For its "made-up" spelling.)
9. Makayla
10. Bertha
11. Hope

Boys:

1. Jayden
2. Brayden
3. Aiden
4. Kaden (These rhyming names struck many as overdone, Wattenberg reported.)
5. Hunter (Too much like a last name or "too violent.")
6. Hayden
7. Bentley (People dislike brand-name names, Wattenberg found, calling them "trashy")
8. Tristan
9. Michael (Too boring, according to some.)
10. Jackson

Nugent is Animated.... Really

Ted Nugent will appear on a Simpsons episode titled "Politically Inept, With Homer Simpson" next year.
Nugent, playing himself, will run for president on the Republican ticket and seek Homer's endorsement. Nugent has never been seen on The Simpsons, but his voice was briefly heard over the phone in the 2007 episode "I Don't Wanna Know Why the Caged Bird Sings." see picture.

Everybody Take a Breath...

President Bush Reacts to Osama Bin Laden's Death with Will Ferrell from Will Ferrell

Entrega Cheap Trick

Cheap Trick has re-recorded their 1978 song "Surrender" with a Mariachi band in celebration of today being Cinco de Mayo -- Spanish for "fifth of May" -- a Mexican civic holiday commemorating the Mexican army's victory over French forces at the Battle of Puebla on May 5th, 1862.

The recording also promotes the Hornitos Tequila Mariachi Mash Up competition, a contest that challenges musical acts of all types to create their own mariachi-inspired mash up in celebration of the official kick-off to tequila season. The winning entry will receive $10,000 and a feature in Billboard's "Backbeat" section in June. The contest ends May 23rd.

Florida Freak File - The Saggy Pants Beer Bandit

The thief ran from the E-Z Food Store in Lake Wales carrying two 24 packs of beer Wednesday evening, only to be undone by his own sagging jeans.

A surveillance camera caught the suspect running from the business at 15 Acuff Road carrying the Bud Light cases. Both hands were full, leaving him with no way to pull up his pants as he makes his way to the getaway car outside.

His pants dropped, exposing his plaid boxer shorts as he stumbled to the ground. Cans of beer rolled everywhere and one sprayed onto the asphalt. He jumped into a Chevrolet Malibu — dark tinted windows, no license plate — and rode away.

RED SOCKED! Greatest Open Field Tackle In Stadium Security History

During last night’s Angels-Red Sox game, one fan tried to make a drunkenly, courageous run onto the field at Fenway.
A member of security, however, had other plans.

VIDEO: Ozzy Watches Himself For The First Time

On May 31, music fans will have their first taste of reissues from rock icon OZZY OSBOURNE's catalog of work with the releases of two albums which form the cornerstone of Ozzy Osbourne's career as a solo artist: "Blizzard Of Ozz" and "Diary Of A Madman" (Epic Records/Legacy Recordings). Long revered by rock fans around the world, these two albums created a template for hard rock in the 1980s and beyond as they were marked by the ground-breaking and historic union of Ozzy and the late guitar hero Randy Rhoads. These definitive versions of 1980's "Blizzard Of Ozz" (with previously unreleased bonus tracks) and 1981's "Diary Of A Madman" are available individually on vinyl or CD, or together in a deluxe collector's box. All versions were restored and remastered from the original analog sources by George Marino.

A snippet from the "Thirty Years After The Blizzard" documentary in which Osbourne watches for the first time rare, never-before-seen footage of Ozzy and Randy Rhoads from the Palladium in New York City can be viewed below.

Velvet Stone Motley Led Smith - The Many Offers of Sammy Hagar

In a brand new interview with Forbes.com, legendary rocker Sammy Hagar was asked how he decides what bands he should join and which bands to avoid. "I was asked at one time to be in MÖTLEY CRÜE," he replied. "I was asked at one time to be in PANTERA by their managers. I was asked to be in VELVET REVOLVER when Scott Weiland quit and went back to the STONE TEMPLE PILOTS. I was waiting to be asked to be in LED ZEPPELIN to say no, since they were the greatest band on earth and no could replace Robert Plant. I was asked to be in AEROSMITH and I said no. Certain bands and certain front man singers are more difficult to replace than others.
"When I came into VAN HALEN, it was easy because Dave [Lee Roth] wasn't a great singer, but he was a good frontman. In those times, I was selling out the same arenas they were, so it was like the combination of two forces and it worked but it's a rare thing. We were all lucky that the fans accepted it and it got bigger. I would avoid bands that are going to break up pretty soon."

New Steven Tyler Book Excerpt

Click on the Book ABOVE to read excerpts from Brand Tyler's new book.

Pearl Jam Rock Doc. "PJ20" Teaser

According to The Pulse Of Radio, PEARL JAM has released a clip from the upcoming documentary "Pearl Jam Twenty", which will chronicle the band's entire two-decade career through interviews, rare footage, live performances and more.
In the clip, taken in the band's formative days, its members discuss changing the band name from the original MOOKIE BLAYLOCK to PEARL JAM. Making a cameo right at the beginning is late ALICE IN CHAINS frontman Layne Staley.

"Pearl Jam Twenty" is due out in September from "Almost Famous", "Singles" director and longtime band friend Cameron Crowe.

Mick Jagger.... Sure Plays A Mean Pinball

The Rolling Stones have licensed their likeness and music for a new pinball machine. It contains 13 songs -- including "Start Me Up," "She's So Cold" and "Mixed Emotions" -- and a moving Mick Jagger target. Jagger recently took time out from working on a new album to play the game at engineer Chris Lord-Alge's studio in Los Angeles. The cost of each machine is more than $4600.

Tyler Let's Loose in "Rolling Stone" Interview

The Toxic Twins Ride Again or at least that's what Steven Tyler dropped along with a whole series of truth bombs during an interview with Rolling Stone ... in which he explains, "Did I take this job to show the band? F**k, yeah. Not to show them, but that I can't be held hostage anymore. I will be my own hostage. The band can't throw me out."

During the interview, Tyler also reveals he went on a drug binge with Joe Perry a few years ago during an "ill-fated attempt to cut a new album."

Tyler told the mag ... the album never got made because, "Joe was high and he couldn't play ... I couldn't sing, really, because I was snorting everything, and it f**ks up your throat. It was the wrong time."

One more fun fact from the article -- when it came to the "Idol" gig, Tyler was up against The Who legend Roger Daltrey ... but producers passed on Roger because they felt he was "Very formal, his hair was cut, he looked like a regular guy. He had lost that sort of rock & roll charm."

Sneak Peak at Ozzy's Rock Doc.

The new Ozzy Osbourne documentary produced by his and Sharon's son, Jack, is called God Bless Ozzy Osbourne, but Sharon says Jack has blessed Ozzy's life. In the documentary, she says Jack's getting sober in 2003 inspired Ozzy to kick his habit of drugs and alcohol for good. She says, "[Ozzy] works really hard for his sobriety and he deserves it."

"God Bless Ozzy Osbourne" (formerly "Wreckage Of My Past"), the much-anticipated "intimate" documentary that delves deep into the life of heavy metal legend Ozzy Osbourne.



Ozzy vs. Doves

STRIKE THREE

My friend Mike pointed out that she looks like the late Chris Farley in the SNL Gap Girls skit. Home Run Mike!

"Robin" is the young lady who brought a sign to Miller Park Friday night demanding, "Marry me, Ryan." It came complete with her real cell phone number, and caught the all-seeing eyes of FS Wisconsin crew members, who put Robin on the air during the Brewers' blowout win over the Astros. Hilarity ensued as fans from Waukesha to Wauwatosa entertained themselves by flooding her voicemail inbox.

The rest of the half-inning was pure raw comedy, with Braun's would-be lady wondering why her phone was ringing off the hook with calls and texts and why field reporter Telly Hughes would possibly want to interview her.

'It seemed like a good idea," she said in the ensuing interview.

Gutsy move, and it worked. Braun called after the game and got Robin's voice mail, which was unfortunately full.

"I guess it wasn't meant to be," Braun said with a smile.

The Further "Pussification" of America's Youth

The state of New York has recently released a new list of "dangerous" activities that summer camps need to keep out of their programs.

Yes. We are getting wimpier and wimpier by the year.

Here are a few things on the list:

• Wiffle Ball -- How hard would you have to swing that yellow plastic bat to do serious bodily damage?
• Kickball -- If kickball scares you as a little kid, real life is going to be a real shocker for your timid little soul.
• Dodgeball -- Here's an obvious one. We know it's dangerous, and it makes skinny nerds feel terrible. But ... it builds character.
• Capture The Flag -- Not dangerous at all, unless it's played with guns. But then it's called "war."
• Red Rover -- This one makes some sense. There is the potential for a lot of dislocated shoulders.

MINI KISS... No, Not The Little People

KISS members Gene Simmons, Tommy Thayer and Eric Singer took time out from recording their new album in Los Angeles to appear last Thursday at the New York Auto Show. Wearing their stage costumes, they helped unveil four KISS-inspired custom-painted and autographed Countryman Minis, which will be auctioned off to aid UNICEF's efforts to help children in Japan and around the world. The auction starts on May 29th.

Afterward, Simmons said he had his eye on one of the cars. "I want the Demon," said the Demon. Thayer added, "Mini Coopers have a rock and roll history. Back in the '60s The Beatles used to drive Mini Coopers -- Paul McCartney, John Lennon."

If you don't want to bid, Mini is making available the four KISS-inspired vehicle wraps available for every Mini model, color and year. To order yours, call 877-236-4431.

Ian Hunter drives a Mini, writing on his website that he "loves it... 34 miles to the gallon!" --Sal Cirrincione

Source: KissOnline.com

Bret Rocks and Bops

Bret Michaels will release his fifth solo album, Get Your Rock On, in June. He says, "This one is primarily straight-up rock songs, which I think people will like. I've written a lot of good stuff over the last few years that I think are just good rock songs. I feel really strong about it."

But before that, Michaels will be featured on the latest Kidz Bop children's album. Along with his daughters Raine and Jorja [pr: Georgia], Michaels sings a version of Posion's "Every Rose Has Its Thorn" on Kidz Bop Sings Monster Ballads, in stores May 17th. A portion of the proceeds from the album will go to his Juvenile Diabetes Foundation and the American Diabetes Association.

You Choose CrÜe's Tunes

MÖTLEY CRÜE has decided to let the fans decide the band's setlist for this summer's tour via an online vote. Bassist Nikki Sixx says,
"You wanted it, you got it, fuckers..."

Click here to vote for your favorite 15 songs to be heard on this summer's tour.

Hole Lotta' Taxes or Donut Forget Your 1099

A Texas man says there was a significant hole in the free prize he won last year at an Astros game.
On fan appreciation day, Bob Choate won 315 coupons from a local donut shop. Choate, a donut fan, as well as a baseball fan, was thrilled. Until, says the Houston Chronicle, he got a letter informing him he owed the IRS $237 in taxes for his “free prize.”
According to the 1099 form Choate received, his 315 free-coffee-plus-a-donut vouchers were worth $927.61, well over the $600 threshold the IRS sets before requiring a person to declare something as a gift or prize.
Luckily, the story has a happy ending: the donut shop owner agreed to cut Choate a check for his tax burden.

Would You Like Fries With Your Grieving ?

Fries, liquor and prescription medications have long been offered in drive-thru form, so it was only a matter of time until funeral homes followed suit.

The Los Angeles Times profiles a Compton, Calif. mortuary that offers drive-thru viewings of the dearly departed, spotlighting a deceased former city councilwoman whose children opted to place her open casket in a drive-thru display.

The story says there are "a handful" of drive-thru funeral parlors around the country. The owner of the Compton location boasts:

"It's a unique feature that sets us aside from other funeral parlors. "You can come by after work, you don't need to deal with parking, you can sign the book outside and the family knows that you paid your respects," said Scott Adams. "It's a convenience thing."

Would You Like Fries With Your Grieving ?

WAMI AWARDS - LIVE STREAM

CLICK ON THE PICTURE ABOVE AND STREAM FROM THE LINK ON THE RIGHT HAND SIDE.

Welcome To My Hologram

Alice Cooper is to make history by appearing in 4D.

This happens on Wednesday, May 11 at Battersea Power Station. Dubbed The Jagermeister Ice Cold Event, it will be the first ever holographic rock gig, and is being done to celebrate the release of the Alice Cooper box set Old School: 1964-1974. It will see the original Alice Cooper band (minus the late Glen Buxton) making their first appearance in the UK since 1972.

Says Alice: "We couldn’t resist this. Working with Jägermeister to appear as holograms on the other side of the Atlantic is the ultimate experience, a cutting-edge conjuring trick that celebrates the future and our history. We can't wait to see the results".

Record Store Day - Get Yo'self Some Vinyl

The third annual Record Store Day takes place tomorrow (Saturday - 4/16) at hundreds of independent record stores around the country. The day has Ozzy Osbourne as its ambassador, and he's just one of the more than 300 artists putting out special limited-edition releases to get folks to check out their local shop. Around these here parts those shops include... (say it with me) The Exclusive Company (GB, AP, OSH), Dr. Freuds (Manitowoc), Radio Kaos (Stevens Point), Mad Hatteur (Fond du Lac) Here's an abridged list of the artists taking part in Record Store Day. (Head to RecordStoreDay.com for details on each release.) A Day to Remember AC/DC Adele Anberlin Bruce Springsteen & the E Street Band Death Cab for Cutie Deftones Brett Dennen Dio Foo Fighters Grateful Dead Green Day Jimmy Eat World Kings of Leon Mastodon Mumford & Sons Nirvana Ozzy Osbourne Phish R.E.M. Ray LaMontagne Rise Against Rush The Doors The Cars The Decemberists Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers ZZ Top

KISS In Studio

KISS has officially entered the studio to begin recording the follow-up to 2009's "Sonic Boom" for a late 2011 release.
Paul Stanley had this to say....
"Wednesday, April 13. We are in the studio again doing the follow-up to 'Sonic Boom'. Today is the first day in the studio. All the gear got set up yesterday. Eric [Singer] is sitting behind the drums feverishly waiting to cut that first track. So history will be made. This album, I'm telling you, everybody agrees, leaves 'Sonic Boom' in the dust. So this is awesome, and you'll be hearing it soon."

Rolling Stone Reader's Poll - Lead Singers

"Rolling Stone Magazine" asked it's readers for their list of the...

Top 10 Lead Singers of All Time

1) Robert Plant
2) Freddie Mercury
3) Bono
4) Mick Jagger
5) Jim Morrison
6) Roger Daltrey
7) Eddie Vedder
8) John Lennon
9) Chris Cornell
10) Kurt Cobain

David Lee Roth - The Lost Years

According to KFMB-TV, a David Lee Roth fan that lost his camera during the singer's 1999 concert in Austin, Texas is in the process of having it returned — thanks to the Internet.

Greg Aulick captured Roth's performance on a disposable camera but ended up losing it — and all of the priceless memories it contained — because he "had a lot of Jack Daniels that night calming me down a little bit," he said.

The camera was recovered that same night by Matt Sellars, who's now a director at News 8 and was at the same concert almost 12 years ago. He took the camera home and forgot all about it until a year later when he came across it and decided to develop the pictures.

"Late last year I came across the pictures on my computer again and I thought with Facebook and YouTube now we could probably find this guy in a couple of weeks," Sellars said.

Vampire Face Lift...Really?!

Cosmetic procedures like using Botox, Restylane, and collagen could become a thing of the past now that a new wrinkle-removing procedure is hogging the spotlight.

The newest trend in cosmetic surgery is called the "vampire face-lift" and it's done by injecting the patient's own blood back into their face in order to smooth out the lines. Creepy? Yes. But many people are starting to swear by it and find it the safest way to inject since your injecting (gag!) your own blood back into your face.

Source: ABC News

And the Rocket's Red (Rocker) Glare...

Sammy Hagar says he had never performed the national anthem at a sporting event before kicking off Saturday's World Series ring ceremony for the San Francisco Giants.
"I just hope I can hit them notes," Hagar told MLB.com before the performance. "It's a tough to sing, you know? I can sing so much higher. All these rock (songs), screaming and yelling. But the melody is so strict and so restricting for a singer that I'm nervous."

CDetails > Def Leppard

Def Leppard have confirmed the details for their first ever live album on June 6.

It’s titled "Mirrorball", and the full track listing is:

CD1

1. Rock! Rock! (Till You Drop)
2. Rocket
3. Animal
4. C’Mon C’Mon
5. Make Love Like A Man
6. Too Late For Love
7. Foolin’
8. Nine Lives
9. Love Bites
10. Rock On

CD2

1. Two Steps Behind
2. Bringin’ On The Heartbreak
3. Switch 625
4. Hysteria
5. Armageddon It
6. Photograph
7. Pour Some Sugar On Me
8. Rock Of Ages
9. Let’s Get Rocked
10. Action
11. Bad Actress
12. Undefeated (new studio track)
13. Kings Of The World (new studio track)
14. It’s All About Believin’ (new studio track)

There will also be a bonus DVD.

Find out more at http://www.defleppard.com/

Masters Drinking Game

Drinking is a fundamental part of a man's life and I'd argue that just like the Masters, it's a "tradition unlike any other." I mean, I don't know too many other traditions that involve sleep walking into a stranger's apartment and pissing all over his possessions, do you? So it only makes sense to marry the two. Match made in heaven if you ask me. And since someone asked for a drinking game to play while they watch this year's tournament, we wanted to provide one that will assuredly get you fucked up without having to think too much. Before we get to it, a reminder that ESPN's coverage runs from 3 to 7:30 p.m. ET, while online you can watch Amen Corner (Holes 11, 12, 13) beginning at 10:45 a.m., plus Holes 15 and 16 beginning at 11:45 a.m., and two Featured Groups, beginning at Noon.

Did a fan just yell "get in the hole!" and/or "You da man!"? If yes, then DRINK

Did Jim Nantz just refer to the Masters as "A Tradition Unlike Any Other"? If so...DRINK

Did Nick Faldo just decided to start living in the past and talk about his playing days and/or Masters' victories? DRINK

Oh look, it's Snoopy One. DRINK

Is the camera man zoning in on a golf WAG or just a hot spectator with huge tits? Either way... DRINK

An Eagle was made. DRINK

Were you just reminded that Jack Nicklaus won the tournament 25 years ago? DRINK

Did you just see this picture? If so, DRINK

Did a commercial for the Buick Lacrosse just come on? DRINK mother fucker, we don't take commercial breaks. (While were on that topic, do the same anytime a Cialis or a EA Sports Tiger Woods 2012: The Masters commercial is aired as well.)

Someone gets a hole-in-one. DRINK... and by drink we mean shotgun at least two beers.

Well if it isn't a clip of Phil's amazing shot from the pine-straw... DRINK

Anytime a tee shot lands in the bunker next to the 18th fairway... DRINK... and then question why people still hit driver off that tee.

TAKE A SHOT of the hairiest shit you own every time there is a severe meltdown or disgusting shank. Take two if it happens on Amen Corner.

Every time Tiger looks confused... DRINK (hat tip to the commenter who wrote that)

Anytime Tiger stops his swing in mid-downswing because a photographer took a photo -- to the amazement of everyone who has seen him do it 1,000 times before. DRINK

Speaking of Tiger, is he out of contention, yet they still continue to show his every shot? DRINK

Did an announcer just refer to a hole as “dog-leg right" or a "dog-leg left"? DRINK... but only if your penis hangs the way that was mentioned. If you don't have a dog-leg, drink for that fact alone.

And finally, anytime someone mutters one of the famed Masters words: Magnolia Lane, Butler Cabin, Rae's Creek, Hogan's Bridge, Amen Corner, Eisenhower Tree... DRINK

MEAT-sters - Tiger's BIG Weiner

Tiger Woods' many, many ... many affairs cost him his family, endorsement deals, and competitive golf edge -- but at least he got a GIGANTIC hot dog named after him!!!
TMZ.com spoke with employees at "Somewhere in Augusta" -- a sports bar in Georgia right next to The Masters golf tournament -- which is featuring a monster hot dog called the "Tiger Homewrecker" ... a name we're guessing he didn't approve.

The Tiger dog features a 12" all beef Nathan's hot dog stuffed with cheese, wrapped with bacon, and deep fried. And if you're heart hasn't stopped yet ... it's also topped off with a generous helping of chili, onions, and more cheese.

We're told the $14.99 artery-clogger recently debuted, and this week -- leading up to The Masters -- sales are up almost 30 dogs per day.

So far -- Tiger has not stopped by to give it a whirl -- but don't be surprised if Joslyn James does.

Cuddle THIS!

If your wife or girlfriend demands cuddling after sex -- and you're not into the whole cuddling thing -- there might be a way out for you.

You can now buy an "After Sex Buddy" doll for her and hope that she enjoys cuddling with the doll as much as she enjoys cuddling with you.

While the $20 plush toy is mostly a joke, it is designed to be microwaveable so that it simulates the warmth and comfort of an actual guy.
START CUDDLING HERE

Nikki Talks Tour, Book, Life, Etc.

MÖTLEY CRÜE/SIXX: A.M. bassist Nikki Sixx dropped by Rolling Stone's offices recently to talk about his new book, "This Is Gonna Hurt: Music, Photography And Life Through The Distorted Lens Of Nikki Sixx", and the CD of the same name by SIXX: A.M. Sixx talks about the band's historic catalog and discusses his initial resistance towards the upcoming MÖTLEY CRÜE/POISON summer tour and the direction he hopes to take with the long-awaited film adaptation of the band's 2001 autobiography "The Dirt". You can now watch the chat below.

DON'T VOTE FOR AARON RODGERS

I know ... I know... this isn't a statement you'd expect from a life-long Packer fan but hear me out on this one... YOU DO NOT WANT A-ROG TO WIN THIS CONTEST!
This year, ESPN’s “SportsNation” is conducting fan voting to determine who makes the cover. The competition is down to the final eight which #12 is a part of.
For those of you who do not know, there is a little thing called "The Madden Curse".
The Madden Curse is where the athlete selected to "grace" the cover of the latest Madden video game will have a cursed year - subsequently - if he's integral to his team's success (ahem! Aaron Rodgers) the team and little old you ,the fan, will also suffer in the wake of the dreaded curse.
Aaron rodgers is in the Great Eight of Madden voting. I'm sure he thinks it would be a great honor to be proudly displayed on the cover of the biggest video game on the planet - but it hasn't worked out so well for past cover boys.

2000 - Barry Sanders on the cover NEVER on the field - Retired unexpectedly.
2001 - Eddie George. From superbowl running back to injured and career lows in rushing yards.
2002 - Daunte Culpepper. Knee injury - didn't finish season.
2003 - Marshall Faulk. Had the lowest rushing total of his career during his cover reign.
2004 - Micheal Vick. ONE DAY after his cover hit the shelves, so did he with a broken fibula.
2005 - Ray Lewis. Torn Right Hamstring.
2006 - Donovan McNabb. Sports Hernia FIRST game - season ending surgery
2007 - Shaun Alexander. Broken Left Foot.
and it goes on and on...

Let Michael Vick have the cover. Give the ball and the cover to Adrian Peterson but for the love of the Green and Gold... DO NOT VOTE FOR AARON RODGERS!
Thank You.
This message paid for by the Keep Aaron Rodgers On the Field Not On the IR Action Committee .... John Jordan, Treasurer.

Vote for Players You Don't Like HERE

Frisbee + Hockey = Frockey

Now that NCAA hoops are done - what ever will you watch? FROCKEY - the game that's sweeping the nation. Frockey is "Flying Disc Hockey," is a fun and exciting new alternative sport that combines the skills of Ice Skating with those needed to simultaneously throw and catch a flying disc.



The unique rules of Frockey are designed to promote peak athletic expression and good sportsmanship in a minimal contact environment. Frockey also incorporates music to enhance the overall experience of the sport, playing popular up-tempo songs throughout the game. The "Ultimate" goal of Frockey LLC owner and game inventor Bob Vidal is to spread this positive feel-good sport around the country and around the world. As the first professional co-ed sport, Frockey will usher in a new age of artistic athletic expression for the young and young at heart.

JoBu Angry

Two baseball players from Western High School in Fort Worth Texas were dismissed from the team for sacrificing chickens in an attempt to improve their play. From what I understand, neither player is related to Pedro Cerrano from Major League.

Fort Worth Independent School District spokesman Clint Bond said the incident happened during Spring Break. Bond did not know how many chickens allegedly were killed. He declined to say how the two students were punished.

Baseball coach Bobby McIntire said he has not had a chance to talk to the students about why they did it.

Wolf... Wolf... Wolf..

Well it was only a matter of time... 26-ish years... when someone re-made... or re-imagined... Teen Wolf... not much imagination if you're re-making something that's been done before but I digress... Looks to me MTV is taking the "Twilight" meets "Cursed" route on this one - not the lighthearted romp one would expect with Michael J. Fox or his cousin Jason Bateman (Teen Wolf 2) as source material - but who am I to judge? It's from the same outlet that produces "Jersey Shore" so I guess we should thank our full moons that Teen Wolf isn't an over-tan, too-drunk and extremely-stupid moron living in a beach house with others of his pack.
Do you like ???
Howl once for YES. Howl Twice for NO.

Teen Wolf - MTV Shows

Just in case you lorn for some gool ol' "Street Surfin'"... the Original Trailer

Whole Lotta Grandpa

Some may argue that once you become an old man, you should be entitled to say and do anything you want in public. That might be the thinking of this old man dancing to a lousy Led Zeppelin cover band. Or maybe it's just the beer. Either way, it's hysterical.

Jurassic Rock Indeed

Rolling Stone Poll - Best Bassist

It's pole time again (that's what she said) boys and girls this time Rolling Stone Magazine is listing
The Top 10 Best Bassists of All Time

1) John Entwistle (The Who)
2) Flea (Red Hot Chili Peppers)
3) Paul McCartney (The Beatles)
4) Geddy Lee (RUSH)
5) Les Claypool (Primus)
6) John Paul Jones (Led Zeppelin)
7) Jaco Pastorius (Jazz)
8) Jack Bruce (Cream)
9) Cliff Burton (Metallica)
10) Victor Wooten (Bela Fleck and the Flecktones)

Boston Bad Boy Ballads

Aerosmith will release a new album in May, but it's not their long-awaited next studio album. It's yet another greatest hits album, but this one focuses on their so-called ballads recorded during their time with Geffen Records. Tough Love: Best of the Ballads contains 12 tracks, including "Dream On," "Love in an Elevator," "Livin' on the Edge" and "Rag Doll."

The rest of the songs are "Angel," "Amazing," "Cryin'," "What It Takes," "Crazy," "Deuces are Wild," "Blind Man" and "Janie's Got a Gun." It will be out on May 10th.

Mega Millions = Mega Idiot

A team of seven IT coworkers won the New York State Mega Millions jackpot totally $319 million. Awesome for them. But the depressing part? There were usually eight coworkers who pooled money together for lottery tickets. And one opted to sit this one out.

According to a New York Post interview with the owner of the Albany deli who sold the winning lottery ticket, when the coworkers went around the office went around asking who wanted into the pool, the unlucky eighth man (whose identity is unknown) told them he was going to pass this time around since he “wasn’t feeling lucky.”

The unlucky would-be pool participant stood to take home about $16 million after taxes had he chipped in.

MLB Me A.S.A.P.

Concessionaire Aramark signed a deal to bring a pair of “Bottoms Up” beer dispensers to Boston by Opening Day. The aptly named system fills a special cup from the bottom up in just a few seconds, vastly outpouring typical tap setups and keeping those aggravating alcohol lines moving.

“It’s another reason for fans to get excited,” said Aramark spokesman David Freireich. “We think people will be lining up and stopping by even if they aren’t planning on buying a beer, just to see how it works.”

Bottoms Up works its magic thanks to a thin magnetic disk in the cup bottom that flips up when the cup is placed on the system and beer flows in, and then flips back down and seals when the pour is finished. A four-cup Bottoms Up station can pour as many as 44 beers per minute.