Friday, December 18, 2009

Good Fell La La La La La La's

Again my childhood is raped.

The Spirit of Christmas

Here's the animated short that introduced the world to Stan, Kyle, Kenny and Cartman.
South Park started out as a project for a Hollywood honcho to send as his Christmas Card. And exploded into the cynical, satirical, vile and brilliant juggernaut that it is today.
That should cover my ass. J.J.


A controversial "nativity" scene - depicting Jesus, holding a shotgun over a prone Santa with Rudolph splayed across a truck's hood.
Is it art and freedom of expression or just a way to cause an up-roar in the neighborhood?

"It's an expression of my repressed creativity," says Ron Lake.

In his display Ron Lake believes Santa represents the commercialism of Christmas.

A work of art open to interpretation.

"You can tell your kids and make it as if there's a Santa Claus, and let them believe all that, but you can't explain these things or ignore this thing. I don't get it," says Lake

Neighbors don't feel the same. Stunner.

UPDATE It has been taken down. Merry Christmas.


Thursday, December 17, 2009


Kids around or on Christmas are like little Jeckyll and Hydes.
Either they're cool to be around, funny or they will kill you without a single thought.



Is Santa Sant-HER???

Could Santa really be a she? Think about it. Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing, social deal, and I have a tough time believing a guy could possibly pull it all off…
For starters, the vast majority of men don't even think about selecting gifts until Christmas Eve. Once at the mall, they always seem surprised to find only Ronco products, socket wrench sets and mood rings left on the shelves. On this count alone, I'm convinced Santa is a woman.

Another problem for a he-Santa would be getting there. First of all, there would be no reindeer because they would all be dead, gutted and strapped on to the rear bumper of the sleigh amid wide-eyed, desperate claims that buck season had been extended. Blitzen's rack would already
be on the way to the taxidermist.

Even if the male Santa DID have reindeer, he'd still have transportation problems because he would inevitably get lost up there in the snow and clouds, and then refuse to stop and ask for directions.

Here are some other reasons why Santa can't possibly be a man ...

  • Men can't pack a bag.
  • Men would rather be dead than caught wearing red velvet.
  • Men would feel their masculinity is threatened ... having to be seen with all those elves.
  • Men don't answer their mail.
  • Men would refuse to allow their belly to be described as a "bowlful of jelly."
  • Men aren't interested in stockings unless somebody's wearing them.
  • Having to do the "Ho Ho Ho" thing would seriously inhibit their ability to pick up women.
  • Being responsible for Christmas would require a commitment.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Frosty the Pyro

Man behind "Gingerbread Nazis" is back at work.
A controversial Lorain County artist has several holiday displays up.
Keith McGuckin of Wellington, who gained fame for his "Gingerbread Nazis" a few years ago, has three new displays.
"Pyro On My Pillow" is about a snowman named Norman who lives a normal life by day but at night goes around setting foreclosed homes on fire. There's also the "Amazing Iron Lung Santa with Polio" and "Gingerbread Men Recreating the Lee Harvey Oswald Assasination."
McGuckin says he's surprised that people are offended by the polio piece this year. He says even though it's bizarre, it's supposed to be a positive message.

Ho Ho HI Yaaaa!

Don't mess with Santa! Not only will you end up on the "Naughty List" you'll also end up on the ground bleeding.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

The Curse is ALIVE!!!

.... and the cover boys are not well. I suppose the Madden geeks thought it was a"safer' bet to tempt fate with 2 cover athletes the Arizona Cardinal's WR Larry Fitzgerald and Steeler's D standout (and very harry) Troy Polamalu. Polamalu went down early in the season (twice) with a knee injury and during last night's ass-kicking by the 49ers, Fitzgerald and his knee got bent the wrong way. The curse is still alive. NEVER, in the history of the game, has the cover athlete NOT gotten hurt during the season - most finish injured or on the IR list.
Stilll a skeptic? SNOPES will set you free. Necky

Scraping the bottom of the barrel for a Christmas gift? Here you go!

Monday, December 14, 2009

Mi Mi Mi Mii.... Mi Mi Mi Mii..... Mi Mi Mi Miii.....

Ahhh the Muppets ... even Stadler and Waldorf's crotchety, old hearts would melt (or stop) after this stirring rendition of the Christmas classic "Carol of the Bells"
Enjoy! J.J.

Merry... Holy.... All Praise....

Flowcharts are a great way to make sense out of confusing scenarios, and there's no scenario that's more confusing than trying to figure out what religion you should follow. That's why we've created this helpful flowchart to guide you through the process.
Click on Flowchart to ENLARGE.


Move over Claw Machine... there's a new entertainment device (get your minds out of the gutter) hitting the arcade (80's term) and movie theater lobby.... "Whack-a-Banker"!
Get out all your frustrations on the banking system one whack at a time.
Been denied a loan? WHACK!!
Been foreclosed on? WHACK!!
Pissed at the bailout?? WHACK! WHACK!! WHACK!!!!!
When the coins are inserted, the banking poster falls to reveal the fruit machine ‘gambling’ display just like your 401k. The bankers pop up out of the holes in the table and the game is simply to whack as many as possible in 30 seconds with the investment instrument (the mallet). There is an easy option,
‘low yield, safe investment’ and a much harder one, ‘ high yield, high risk investment’. If you lose, the bankers put the experience behind them and return to business as usual, If you win, the bankers retire and thank you for funding their pensions.