Friday, February 19, 2010

New Flicks: When You're Strange

The documentary When You're Strange: A Film About The Doors will open in select theaters on April 9th. The 90-minute film, the first feature documentary about The Doors, is narrated by actor Johnny Depp and contains historic and previously unseen footage. The film's soundtrack will be released on March 30th

Jordan's Idiotic Product: Butt/Face Towel

Have you ever had a moment of panic while washing/drying yourself when you realize that , "Oh my God! I may be washing my face with the part of the towel that I just washed my butt with!" Well Butt/Face Washer worry no more... Here's another in a line of idiotic products for you ... the Butt/Face/Feet Towels. Yep... they're exactly what they sound like... a towel set specifically labeled for each part of your anatomy.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Wicked Tough

Just watch this wicked tough 75 year old granny go toe-to-toe with a robber at a convenience store in Boston. WARNING Never get between this woman and a scratch off. The robber was later captured and the grandmother is still angry. You GO Granny!

And The Gold Goes To.....

100,000 Condoms in Olympic Village

(That's Still Not Enough)

(VANCOUVER, CANADA) The Olympic organizers know that the athletes are young and flirtatious. For that reason, they've bought 100,000 condoms. Absolutely free-of-charge for the athletes. In China, 2 years ago, the athletes used all 100,000 in just a few short nights.

You hear also sorts of wild stories from the athletes. Who's to know what's true and what just sounds like an urban legend. For instance, one of the often-told stories is about a certain Olympic figure skater who had a thing for hockey players. As one Olympian re-told the tale (quote) "This girl really liked hockey players. And I use the plural -- players. I think the Swedish hockey team was very grateful."

That's What She Said...

Dalton Duncan of Redmont Junior High School is what I was in school ... a class clown distracting but funny taking any opportunity to make my classmates laugh at the expense of their education and my time after school.
So when a classmate innocently said "... you need stick it in further." Duncan replied
(ala Michael Scott from "The Office") "That's what she said. Classic! Bravo! Encore!!!
He got suspended for the comment. Really!


Today direct from the stage at the COMEDY QUARTER on the Afternoon Roadshow... Comedian Frankie Paul.

Why old people drive slow

Frankie Paul | MySpace Video

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Here Comes The Judge

This dad means business -- but he has a peculiar sense of Panhandle justice.
William Russell Kelly Jr., 49, may own "The Judge" -- but not his future jury.
Kelly Jr., 49, of Navarre, admitted shooting his daughter's boyfriend in the groin with "The Judge," his silver Taurus .45-caliber revolver.
"The Judge" was loaded -- three chambers were filled with bird-shot and the fourth with lead. But only one chamber had been fired.
“I shot him in the nuts with bird-shot because he was beating my daughter,” Kelly said. The woman, Amanda Kelly, told the deputy that her father had shot the victim because “he hates him, dude,” reports the Northwest Florida Daily News.
Dad was charged with aggravated battery causing bodily harm or disability.
Looks like the boyfriend will be out of commission for some time.

Mr. Scoreboard Marriage Proposal Guy

When you make something like a marriage proposal a public thing let's just say on a NHL scoreboard during a Ranger game in the World's Most Famous Arena, in our largest city of New York... you might want to...oh... I don't know.....

Hockey Fan Marriage Proposal Fail - Watch more Funny Videos

Alright now for the rest of the story....
'Nick's' offer to 'Melissa' that ended with her storming off was not only a fake - the 'couple' were actually actors hired through an agency and designed to be part of the in-game entertainment.
But what had been designed to be a humorous, in-game moment spiralled out of control and was picked up by news channels, which promptly broadcast the clip.
Sources said stadium staff were in on the joke, which occurred at 10:19 of the second period of the New York Rangers' 5-2 win over the Tampa Bay Lightning on February 14.


MagneScribe - for those of you who have problems dropping pens under couches and for when you want to look like Flava Flav while writing... all at the same time.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

JJ's Conspiracy Theories: OZZY

After watching the 25th Anniversary Rock n' Roll Hall of Fame concert on HBO I have come to the conclusion that they have secretly replaced you regular bumbling, stammering, stuttering, burned out Ozzy with a reasonable facsimile Ozzy.
I submit to you EXHIBIT A "America's Got Talent" with judge Sharon OSBOURNE!
Sharon saw the Crazy (gravy) Train leaving the station and acted impulsively in order to save the lifestyle of which she's been accustomed to for, low, these many years as Mrs. Prince of Bleepin' Darknesss.
Impossible! Blasphemy! You scoff.
Watch the video below and "HA!" I say.

"Real" OZZY

HOOTERS in the House

Joe and John welcome a special guest to the Afternoon Roadshow today.... she is Krissy Marie and she won the title of Miss Hooters Wisconsin 2007 and 2008

Check her out list of achievements.

*2007 Hooters Calendar
*2007 Miss Hawaiian Tropics State
*2007 International Hooters Swimsuit Pageant (Miss WI)
*2008 International Hooters Swimsuit Pageant (Miss WI)
*2007 Miss Dropfest
*2008 Miss Dropfest
*2008 Hooters Calendar
*July Issue of Hooters Magazine
*Oct/Nov Issue of Hooters Magazine
*2008 Razor Rock Girl
*2008 Razor Calendar

*Vail CO video shoot

*Nov/Dec 09 magazine cover


Who's There???
Yes "Death Bear". At times, the end of a romantic relationship can feel like a small death. So New York performance artist Nate Hill has created ""Death Bear". He arrives at your door in full costume. It looks kinda like a cross between "Winnie-the-Pooh" and "Darth Vader". Death Bear helps you bury your relationship. He's become the "self-appointed public servant for the brokenhearted."

Surprisingly, Death Bear was pretty busy over the Valentine's Day weekend. Hill says that he collects from his clients (quote) "things that trigger painful memories. An ex's clothes, old photos, mementos and letters. Death Bear is here to assist you in your time of tragedy, heartbreak and loss. He will stow away those items in his cave where they will remain forever."

To make an appointment with Death Bear: Text (347) 742-2293

Monday, February 15, 2010

That's Why Mom Loves "Flip Cup"!

Don't you wish you had photographic evidence that your parents were party hounds back in the day? Some of you may, in fact, have old photos of your party-hardy parents. And some of you may have even uploaded these photos to for all to see.

R.I.P. Doug Fieger

Doug Fieger, lead singer of rock group the Knack, died at 57 after a battle with cancer, his brother Geoffrey confirmed today. "I’ve had 10 great lives'" Fieger told the Detroit News in a January interview. "And I expect to have some more. I don’t feel cheated in any way, shape or form." Get the Knack, the album that featured 'My Sharona," spent six weeks at No. 1 in 1979. The hit single was perhaps best immortalized (or at least revitalized) via a hilarious impromptu gas station dance party in 1994's Reality Bites. "Can you turn this up please? Please? You won’t be sorry."

Water Hazard

Alright Golfers.... we've all been there - not in the rough - but in a rough spot. You've had one too many visits from beer cart girl and then when nature calls... there's no bathroom available. What does a duffer do with a full bladder and nowhere to hang his 6 iron? Take a leak in the woods??? Dig a hole in the sand trap? Add a little "you juice" to the ball washer? All WRONG! Reach into your bag (golf bag) and whip out the UroClub - a club with a hidden reservoir for you to take care of your "water hazard" discretely on the course - comes with a towel to hide the process from the prying eyes and binoculars of the course ranger.

S#!T Really?!

(ALBERT LEA, MINNESOTA) A Minnesota farmer demonstrated the love he has for his wife by spreading fresh manure on his property. Bruce Andersland created a half-mile wide design in the snow which resembled an over-sized heart with an arrow through it. The snow covering Andersland's field was melted by the warm cow manure melted.

Bruce said it was the very least he could do on Valentine's Day. His wife, Beth says this gift was the biggest she's ever gotten. The smelliest, too.
And YOU bought the flowers that were grown in it for $75 bucks a dozen... SUCKER!