Friday, July 9, 2010

Hello Mudder ... Hello Fadder....

Ahhh... summer camp. The isolation, cruelty, masked men with machetes trying to kill you are all a part of the experience. And as parents celebrate their summer vacation away from the kids sad letters to mom and dad make their way from "Camp GaldYourGonna" to home - here's possibly the saddest.


Open Letter to Fans from Cavaliers Majority Owner Dan Gilbert

Dear Cleveland, All Of Northeast Ohio and Cleveland Cavaliers Supporters Wherever You May Be Tonight;

As you now know, our former hero, who grew up in the very region that he deserted this evening, is no longer a Cleveland Cavalier.

This was announced with a several day, narcissistic, self-promotional build-up culminating with a national TV special of his "decision" unlike anything ever "witnessed" in the history of sports and probably the history of entertainment.

Clearly, this is bitterly disappointing to all of us.

The good news is that the ownership team and the rest of the hard-working, loyal, and driven staff over here at your hometown Cavaliers have not betrayed you nor NEVER will betray you.

There is so much more to tell you about the events of the recent past and our more than exciting future. Over the next several days and weeks, we will be communicating much of that to you.

You simply don't deserve this kind of cowardly betrayal.

You have given so much and deserve so much more.

In the meantime, I want to make one statement to you tonight:


You can take it to the bank.

If you thought we were motivated before tonight to bring the hardware to Cleveland, I can tell you that this shameful display of selfishness and betrayal by one of our very own has shifted our "motivation" to previously unknown and previously never experienced levels.

Some people think they should go to heaven but NOT have to die to get there.

Sorry, but that's simply not how it works.

This shocking act of disloyalty from our home grown "chosen one" sends the exact opposite lesson of what we would want our children to learn. And "who" we would want them to grow-up to become.

But the good news is that this heartless and callous action can only serve as the antidote to the so-called "curse" on Cleveland, Ohio.

The self-declared former "King" will be taking the "curse" with him down south. And until he does "right" by Cleveland and Ohio, James (and the town where he plays) will unfortunately own this dreaded spell and bad karma.

Just watch.

Sleep well, Cleveland.

Tomorrow is a new and much brighter day....

I PROMISE you that our energy, focus, capital, knowledge and experience will be directed at one thing and one thing only:

DELIVERING YOU the championship you have long deserved and is long overdue....

Dan Gilbert
Majority Owner
Cleveland Cavaliers

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

WTF! Story of the Week

LEBANON — A Franklin woman pretended to be a 14-year-old boy named Matt Abrams to get close to a Springboro girl, authorities said. Patricia Dye, 31, of Franklin, remained in the Warren County Jail on Tuesday, July 6, charged with unlawful sexual conduct with and corruption of a 16-year-old Springboro girl in late May at the girl’s home. Dye, who used the alias Matt Abrams, is 4 feet 11 inches tall, smaller than the 5-foot-5 victim, according to police reports.

“They were boyfriend-girlfriend,” Sgt. Bob Marchiny said. “(Dye) looks just like a boy.”(see RIGHT)

Police began investigating Dye after the girl ran away from a hotel where they had been living together for three days in June. The girl did not realize Dye was a woman, Marchiny said.

“We realized the person she was with wasn’t who we thought she was,” Marchiny said.

Dye, arrested on June 30 in Franklin, admitted to pretending to being a boy, Marchiny said.

“It’s not an easy thing to do,” Marchiny said.

Dye is charged with corruption of a minor and unlawful sex with a minor. A charge of importuning, or soliciting sex with the girl, was dismissed after a pretrial hearing Tuesday, according to prosecutors.

Ride On

As the Iola Old Car Show and Swap Meet is hitting the track this week (7/8 -7/11)

Here are the Top 10 American Cars of All-Time, according to

10. Ford Thunderbird (1955-'97, 2002-'05)
9. Plymouth/Chrysler Prowler (1997, 1999-2002)
8. Pontiac Firebird (1967-2002)
7. Mercury Eight (1949-'51)
6. Saleen S-7 (2000-'06)
5. Cadillac Eldorado Convertible (1953-'66, 1971-'76)
4. "Tri-Five" Chevrolets (1955-'57)
3. Dodge Viper (1992-2010)
2. Ford Mustang (1964-Present)
1. Chevrolet Corvette (1953-Present)


The founder of a sex toy company has inside secrets on how to travel with your favorite bedroom accessory. Ethan Imboden has flown around the world and knows how security agents pry into your luggage and discover your toys. He says the safest way to travel is to place your product in the original packaging and stuff it in your carry-on. But first, take out the batteries. Short of that, it's OK to put it into a zip-lock bag with a note explaining the contents.

Ethan says (quote) "Take comfort in the fact that these guys have seen it all. If the TSA agent shakes their head as you pass through, it might simply be to express their disappointment that you're only bringing one vibrator. The worst stories I've heard have less to do with mean TSA agents and more to do with the witnesses. For instance, parents being questioned with children beside them or women being confronted near their unsuspecting husbands."

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Irish They Would Pick Someone Else

Irish baddie Colin Farrell has inked a deal to play Black Sabbath rocker Ozzy Osbourne in a upcoming biopic of the music legend’s life. Although Ozzy, now 61, and his manager wife Sharon have long been vocal about their desire to have the hitmaker played by Oscar-nominated star Johnny Depp, Word on the Curb has it that the 34-year-old Crazy Heart star has officially signed on for the role. Like Osbourne, Farrell would like to think he’s craziest days are behind him. Despite this, we’d like to think Colin’s history of sex scandals and vodka-soaked box office victory could serve him well as he attempts to play Ozzy.

Nice Beaver

What was supposed to be a public cultural event has turned into an X-rated controversy. The city of Bemidji erected a dozen 4-foot tall "Beaver" sculptures, which were painted vibrant colors by local artists. However, one of them has been accused of painting a woman's private parts on the belly of a beaver. Deborah Davis, a kindergarten teacher, says (quote) "I understand people see different things in art, and they need to be free to do that. My intent was to paint the hands of a praying woman."

About 20 people complained about the suggestive artwork. Over the 4th of July weekend, several other artists showed their solidarity to Deborah Davis. They placed fake skirts over their Beaver in protest. Later today, the City Council decides if one Beaver is removed, or all the Beavers have to go.