Friday, January 23, 2009


Alright you THOUGHT it but I have to be the one who SAYS it (or blogs it in this case).
As I'm watching all the presidential inauguration festivities (all $100K of them...recession?) Were my thoughts on whether the country was going to be better off and are we now seeing day one of the new New Deal?
I was wondering if President Obama and 1st Lady Michelle were going to do it, make sweet post election love in the White House that night.
Don't you judge me ... you were thinking it too!
And apparently I wasn't the only one thinking how "lovey" the 1st Couple looked. Exhibit A.

"Fisting"? Really? Fist-Bumping - which is the technical street term according to the Urban Dictionary... granted, doesn't sound much better either. Touching was fine in this case. I would think an expert on body language/love/sex would've known the popular connotation of the term "fisting". But, with all things, consider the source *cough* Fox News. Whom, if any entity knows plenty about fisting... it's them. And also knows plenty about "footing" which means inserting one's foot into one's own mouth thus occupying the space in one's head where one's brain used to be if it weren't sqarely lodged up one's fair and balanced ass.
Until Next Time...

Monday, January 19, 2009


Y'know the old saying,
"No good deed goes unpunished."

Don't I know it sister.
In the spirit of community I brought in a plastic Halloween pumpkin and loaded it with candy. My thought was that it would bring people together in the harmony that only a free candy dish can. My office (shared by Elwood and Roxanne) would be this calm oasis of gathering where co-workers would walk hand in hand, as equals, while sharing Laffy Taffy.
Boy do I feel like a Dum Dum.
Going into it I knew that some would contribute and make an effort to "feed the pumpkin" but the majority of the time it would be left to me - fine - buy the pumpkin fill the pumpkin. I decided after filling the pumpkin numerous times (with no contributions from my fellow employees) to institute a you eat it you fill it policy... I'm beginning to regret that decision- as pictured above.
WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? I'm pretty sure the pictured sucker came from either the 13th consecutive level of hell or the island of misfit candy. I bring in Smarties, Sprees and SweetTarts. Other people are bringing in candy that isn't fit for the depression-era candy dish on your grandmas coffee table - minus the eye glass lenses, batteries, cough drops, and buttons.
For now.
What was once a pinnacle of pumpkin pride has been reduced to a recepticle of unwanted, bottom-of-the-glove-box sticks of gum and unwrapped cash register mints.
Thanks for coming together and celebrating in candy equality.
Can't wait for someone to replace my aloe Kleenex box with 80 grain sandpaper.
Until next time...