Friday, February 26, 2010

Beatty...Jagger...Taylor.... Geffen????

"You're So Vain."

I'll bet no one had David Geffen in the "You're So Vain" office pool.

According to an interpretation of a clip of a remastered version of "You're So Vain," Carly Simon named David Geffen as the target of the song.

When the song is played backwards, at least as heard in the clip, a voice whispers "David."

Geffen was the head of Simon's record label at the time, and was supposedly paying more attention to Joni Mitchell.

That would mean the song is not about exes Cat Stevens, James Taylor, Warren Beatty, Mick Jagger or Kris Kristofferson.

Sluggerrrrrrrr UPDATE!

The Kansas City Royals have selected the next person to play Sluggerrr the mascot -- and TMZ has learned the super fan is training hard to avoid the same wiener-related drama that's plaguing his predecessor.
The man donning the lion costume is Rob Montepare -- and we're told he's already made plans to enter a mascot boot camp run by the guy who played the original Phillie Phanatic, Dave Raymond.
Raymond tells us he plans on teaching Montepare the ways of the air gun along with other drills that emphasize mascot safety.
For some reason, we called the San Diego Chicken for comment and he gave us the following random statement: "I don't handle air gun weaponry."

Ribbed For Your Pleasure

Because I know you've been wondering....Olympic Condom UPDATE!!!

(VANCOUVER, CANADA) This is the final weekend of the Olympics. Word has it that an "emergency shipment" of condoms arrived at the Athlete's Village last night. When the games started 2 weeks ago, the 7000 athletes were given 100,000 free condoms. You do the math: That's 14 condoms per person. Male and female. But after 14 days, they'd completely emptied the condom supply. Kerry Whiteside of the Canadian Foundation for AIDS research said (quote) "When we heard about the condom shortage in Vancouver, we felt it important to respond immediately." And they arrived just in time for the weekend celebrations.

OZZY + Colostomy Bag = GOLD

From Gretta Van Susteren's web blog...
don't judge me I did it for OZZY.
LINK HERE > Classic Ozzy Story

It Gives You Wings...and BALLS!

A convenience store in Connecticut has been victimized by a Red Bull bandit several times in the past, so the owner had some surveillance cameras installed. And lo and behold, the cameras caught the crook red (bull) handed. The video captured the guy stuffing about 17 cans of the energy drink into his pants and then walking out of the store.

Visit for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Thursday, February 25, 2010


The Tennessee Tramp


Best Man... My ASS!

(LONDON, ENGLAND) The secret behind the Twitter wedding prank that went viral may finally be revealed tomorrow. Back in December, while a bride & groom were off on their honeymoon, the best man wired their bed. He claims he secretly attached a pressure-sensitive pad under the mattress. Anytime the springs get heavy action, a Tweet is automatically sent to thousands. Tomorrow is the groom's birthday and the best man has promised he'd reveal the naughty prank to the couple. About 22,000 people are following the bedroom activities of these newlyweds. What have they learned? For one, the couple has gained 11 pounds since their wedding night. And they're not exactly setting the sheets on fire. Over the past 3 months, they've triggered the "Twitter" bed only 27 times. Or once every 3 nights. It's possible, being newlyweds, that they're having sex every night. Just in different places in their home.
Follow the Newlyweds at

Wednesday, February 24, 2010



Two teachers at a Canadian high school have been suspended without pay this week for a racy "dirty dancing" pep rally performance. The action was announced Tuesday, Feb. 23.

As if the performance, an equivalent to a lap dance, wasn't enough to enrage Churchill High School officials, thousands became outraged when video footage found its way to a score of Web sites.

Posted under the title "Two Teachers, One Chair," the clip features a seated female gym teacher, Chrystie Fitcher, being straddled and seductively handled by a male educator. At one point, the male teacher simulates an oral sex act, bobbing his head near Fitcher's genital area.

The rally took place in the school's gymnasium in front of approximately 100 students and members of the faculty and administration.

Freshman Saigha Vincent, 14, said the routine began as a funny skit, but soon skirted outside the realm of good taste.

"At first we were laughing," Vincent said. "Then it was like, ‘Oh that's a little too far.'"
Mike Babinsky, a Winnipeg school trustee, said he is outraged at the dance and has launched formal investigation of both teachers. Babinsky said both educators may be subject to further disciplinary action in coming days. The male teacher was not named as of 1:47 p.m., Wednesday, Feb. 24.

"He is sticking his head into her crotch--into her private area," Babinsky told reporters Tuesday. "I don't know if they're making contact, but it's way too close."

Several other students reported being embarrassed while watching the display unfold live. The one-minute video also has been viewed by a score of students, parents and school officials.

Watch video below


Appleton may be a test market for Google broadband internet which is said to be 100 times faster than anything currently available on the market.
Is this better for the community than a roller-coaster? YES.
And everyone can ride.
Story by WFRV CBS 5 reporter Angenette Levy

Scott Van PUNKED!!!

Score on for the radio guys! Legendary HOWARD STERN SHOW prank caller Captain Jankes called ESPN posing as ex-Philadelphia Eagles running back Brian Westbrook - and somehow convinced producers of the four-letter network that he wanted to do a live "phoner" with anchor Scott Van Pelt on his recent dismissal from the team.
How did it go?
See the expression on SVP's face and you tell me.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Rosebud..... Rosebud.....

Where's this as an Olympic sport?!

A naked sled race was held in Germany for the second straight year, and a crowd of 14,000 turned out to watch the nude sledge riders. Metro reports that the victor was 26-year-old Christian Schmidt. Even more impressive, a "70-year-old man got the biggest round of applause for stripping down to his long johns."

The Second Annual International Nude Sledge Race elicited protests earlier in the month, but the event still managed to outdraw an expected crowd of 12,000.


(AP)- Got your own cool take on the "On Wisconsin!" fight song? The University of Wisconsin-Madison wants to hear it.

In honor of the tune's 100th anniversary, the university has invited anyone to come to the student union on Thursday to perform. Every rendition will be videotaped, uploaded to the UW-Madison
YouTube channel, and entered in the "On, Wisconsin!" YouTube competition.

The top winner gets a trip to Las Vegas to see the September 4 football game against UNLV.

Maybe Try... PICKLE-BACK???

Does a pickle or the Canadian band Nickelback have more fans? It may be a joke, but the answer might not have the band laughing -- a pickle.

A group on Facebook called "Can this pickle get more fans than Nickleback?" hit its goal over the weekend, notching up 1.4 million fans. The post-grunge band Nickelback had 1.38 million on Facebook, but has since topped 1.4 million.

The group was started as a joke earlier this month by a Facebook user called Coral Anne, with the band's name deliberately spelled wrong on the page to get around copyright infringement.

"This is all strictly intended for humor and nothing more or less," she wrote. "I am not using this page to endorse any hate toward the band Nickelback ... I do not wish Nickelback or any other bands any ill will and hope they would see the same humor in making this page as I have."

Nickelback could not be immediately reached for comment.

Watch Out For Flying Bats, Balls and Weiners

Sluggerrr the Lion -- the mascot for the Kansas City Royals -- is accused of poking a fan's eye out with a steaming hot wiener during a Major League Baseball game last year ... and now the team is being sued over it.
It's all in a lawsuit filed in Jackson County, Missouri in which John Coomer claims he was just chillin' at a game on September 8, 2009 -- when Slugger "climbed atop the third base dugout and started shooting hotdogs into the stands from an air gun."

Coomer claims Slugger eventually put the air gun down -- and started firing off the wieners by hand ... when, according to the suit, things went horribly wrong.
In the docs, Coomer claims "Slugger lost control of his throw or was reckless with his throw, and threw the hotdog directly into the Plaintiff."

Coomer claims the dog hit him right in his left eye -- leaving him with a detached retina and the development of cataracts.

Coomer is now suing the Royals for more than $25k for negligence and battery -- claiming they "failed to adequately train its agents ... in the proper method in which to throw hotdogs into the stands at Kauffman Stadium."
Remember, when handling wieners -- it's always safety first.

Hello Handsome

"So what you're saying is... there's a chance." - Lloyd Christmas

According to a new British survey, women like guys with glasses and facial scruff. Geeky guys who don't shave.

That's right ... all that painful and annoying shaving might be hurting your chances of scoring.

The survey found that 41 percent of women say their biggest turn-on in men is facial stubble. And, nearly as many women reported guys with glasses were also likely to rock their world.

Other surprising traits that women said they liked included hairy chests and being unafraid to cry during sad movies.

Monday, February 22, 2010

JJ's Idiotic Product:: The TIDDY BEAR

It's not a TEDDY BEAR it's a TIDDY BEAR (maybe) a TITTY BEAR as seen in the infomercial.
Strap In.

The Utter Gull of Some Birds

A Shoplifting sea gull???? Stop the Insanity!!!!!

Back in the Saddle???

Oh Boy... Here We Go Again....

Aerosmith's Steven Tyler and Joe Perry have apparently issued statements regarding the band's festival appearance in Sweden in June. Tyler says, "The Swedish audience is like no other. We are all very excited about this." Perry adds, "This will be our first gig on our European tour. We can hardly wait until we can kick start our tour in Sweden, and I am confident that it will be great!"

Reuters says that more European dates are on the way, but Aerosmith's only other confirmed date is Britain's Download Festival later in June.


Ah...the Bubble-Wrapping of America continues... now the All-American Hot Dog is getting called on the carpet for being a choking hazard. The American Academy of Pediatrics wants warning labels to be placed on hot dog packaging and are even calling for a RE-Design of the ol' meat tube. Memo to the AAP... Oscar Meyer already has a choking warning on it's packaging... but apparently it's not good enough.

Doctors say high-risk foods, including hot dogs, raw carrots, grapes and apples - should be cut into pea-sized pieces for small children to reduce chances of choking. Some say other risky foods, including hard candies, popcorn, peanuts and marshmallows, shouldn't be given to young children at all.

Good Lord how have we a a people managed to keep our children safe all these years from the dangers of grapes?! I attribute it to a constant state of vigilance in the produce aisle and at the dinner table that determines the survival of our species.
Maybe we can take a cue from our avian friends and instead of feeding our children solid food we can chew it up and regurgitate it into their mouth until the age of 18.

Question(s)? What food isn't a choking hazard aside jello... Will we have to RE-Design buns Too ... ... can I get the same number of hot dogs and buns for Pete sake.... Are refrigerators akin to a gun cabinet and you have to have put package locks on the Ballpark Franks.... Will the annual Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest carry a warning before the telecast... WARNING These Are Professional Eaters. Do not attempt to eat hot dogs unless under the strict supervision of an adult, registered medical professional or a guy named Kobayashi.

Federal law requires choking warning labels on certain toys including small balls, balloons and games with small parts. Unless food makers voluntarily put more warning labels on high-risk foods, there should be a similar mandate for food, the pediatrics academy says.
UGH! I say. Leave My Wiener Alone!

Watch CBS News Videos Online


John Mellencamp isn't the only rocker who's the focus of a grass-roots election campaign -- there's a push to get Ted Nugent elected governor of his native Michigan. 45-thousand people have signed the "Ted Nugent for Michigan Governor" Facebook page.

But Nugent, who toyed with the idea of running for the office in 2005, says he has nothing to do with it. He tells the Detroit News, "Concerned Michigan residents are so at a loss they can't find anybody in the state to vote for -- that's how bad it is. When it gets right down to it, I would make a great governor because I would bring in my machete and hack away at the waste and the cronyism."

Nugent only spends part of his time in Michigan, having moved to Texas in 2003