Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Red Heads + Dead Heads = New Christmas Song

Sammy Hagar debuted a new Christmas song at his Christmas benefit concert in Mill Valley, California earlier this month. He was joined on "Santa's Going South for Christmas" by Bob Weir and Mickey Hart of The Grateful Dead, and you can check out the performance on Hagar's website,

Time for a Trip to the Hot Tub

Friends and Family (mother) who wonder (aloud in front of me usually) "Why haven't you had any children yet?" are likely to get one of two responses from moi; common sense and Trojan brand condoms. But since we're living in a visual (and material) world, I will direct those detractors to my lack of propagation to "EXHIBIT A" below... as you watch, I'm heading back to the hot tub to kill some swimmers. Merry Christmas Everybody!!

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

P (I) S 3

Sega is making a gaming interface called “Toirettsu” which the (presumably male) user controls by selectively peeing on different sensors:

This is a teched out version of those little targets found urinals. Not surprising that Toirettsu is intended for restaurants’ and retailers’ toilets in the hopes that pissing mini-games will result with more customer pee in the urinal and less on the floor. It is also possible for restaurants and retailers to include advertisements on the Toirettsu screen.

Monday, December 20, 2010

MNF - Are You Ready For Some Alcohol ?!

The Minnesota Vikings' Monday Night Football game is supposed to be dry -- as in booze-free -- but we've learned a stadium-adjacent liquor store is stocking up to help fans smuggle their hooch.


Value Liquors -- which is right next to TCF Bank Stadium in Minneapolis -- tells TMZ they're preparing for huge business since officials nixed alcohol sales in the college stadium for the matchup with the Chicago Bears.

We're told the store ordered 50 cases of flasks, and over 4,000 airplane-size bottles of liquor. Hmmm ... wonder what fans are gonna do with those?

Peeps at the stadium say flasks and alcohol are strictly prohibited ... but fans tend to forget the rules when it's 20 degrees and snowing.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Top Tune ToTrip To

LED ZEPPELIN's "Ramble On" and DEEP PURPLE's "Highway Star" are among "The 10 Best Road-Trip Songs" as chosen by readers.

The entire list looks as follows:

01. "Radar Love" by GOLDEN EARRING
02. "Rambling Man" by THE ALLMAN BROTHERS
04. "La Grange" by ZZ TOP
05. "I"ve Been Everywhere" by JOHNNY CASH
06. "Roadhouse Blues" by THE DOORS
07. "The Distance" by CAKE
08. "Highway Star" by DEEP PURPLE
09. "Ramble On" by LED ZEPPELIN
10. "Fat Bottomed Girls" by QUEEN

Paula... Steven.... Paula... Steven....


Hypocrite...Cover for One


Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Where There's Smoke... There's Favre

If you're accused of improprieties below the belt.... you may want to watch where you warm your hands... if you're inactive maybe your hand should be also.... I'm just sayin'.....

Brett's Balls.... NO, NOT THOSE!

Not minutes after being listed as inactive, Favre's (he whose name we shall not speak on the Roadshow) official website started offering a $500 signed football inscribed "297 starts 1992-2010."

BRAKE at the Moon

( Ozzy Osbourne put his Ferrari in mortal danger yesterday -- TMZ has learned the Prince of Darkness rear-ended another car in L.A. ... and then looked confused about it. Law enforcement sources tell TMZ, it all went down yesterday morning -- Ozzy's Ferrari hit a Mercedes from behind right before entering an L.A. highway. We're told both parties waited for police to arrive and then traded information -- departing without incident. There were no injuries and damage was minor. The rock star's rep didn't immediately comment. As for the confused expression -- well ... it's Ozzy.
Ozzy revealed in a recent interview that it took him 19 attempts to obtain his driver's license because he was always "drunk or something." He admitted that he was so nervous during one of the tests that he asked his doctor to prescribe tranquilizers. "So when I had to turn the car, I was simply asleep," he said. "When I woke up, the examiner had simply disappeared, but left a message on a paper on the dashboard: 'Unfortunately, Mr. Osbourne has not passed the exam and would suggest that he never again try to drive this car.'" Ozzy also said that instructors and testers have told him, "I'm not even fucking getting in the car with you."

Monday, December 13, 2010

I'll Be Drunk!... Robo Liquor Stores On The Way

Whenever technology is used to solve a real problem, or when technological advances are needed to work their way around antiquated state liquor laws- either way- it warms our hearts. For instance, it's illegal to sell alcohol in grocery stores in Pennsylvania, but it's not illegal to install a vending machine that dispenses wine: as long as the user is asked to take a breathalyzer test, swipe their state issued ID or Driver License, and then show their mug to a state official sitting somewhere in Harrisburg, who is keeping an eye on the proceedings via closed-caption TV. The Pronto Wine Vending Machine is currently only available in select grocery stores in the state, but it's just been announced that the PA Liquor Control Board has given WAL*MART (good luck with that breathalyzer thing... just get your kids to blow in the hose for Daddy) preliminary approval to put the things in some of their locations outside of Pittsburgh.

Friday, December 10, 2010

Outlandos d' Rudolph

What do you get when The Police's hit "Roxanne" meet up with Rankin/Bass' "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer"???? You don't have to put on the red light but you should watch the video below.
Ho Ho Ho!

Thursday, December 9, 2010

"Life" and Death... of an Orchid

An executive at the New York Public Library claims that Keith Richards killed her plant by smoking near it. The plant, an orchid, died a few days after Richards gave a talk at the library on October 29 about his recent memoir, Life . Marie d'Origny, deputy director of the library's Cullman Center for Scholars and Writers, said the guitarist was in her office before his talk. Even though the building is officially smoke-free, he lit up in her office anyway. The plant's flowers fell off four days later. D'Origny stressed that Richards was "very much a gentleman" and autographed the saucer that held the plant's pot — which he'd used as an ashtray.

C'mon Baby Right My Prior

Florida's Clemency Board has posthumously pardoned singer Jim Morrison of The Doors for his 40-year-old conviction on indecent exposure and profanity charges.

Outgoing Gov. Charlie Crist requested the pardon Thursday. The Clemency Board unanimously granted it.

Crist expressed doubts that Morrison actually exposed himself during a rowdy March 1, 1969, concert in Miami's Dinner Key Auditorium.

Morrison was appealing the conviction when he was found dead in a Paris bathtub in 1971.

The Doors members insist that Morrison teased the crowd, but never actually exposed his penis.

Fans have given differing accounts in the did-he-or-didn't-he debate.

Read more:

Van Halen - UPDATE

According to the unofficial VAN HALEN site Van Halen News Desk, VAN HALEN has tapped producer/songwriter/musician John Shanks (whom Clive Davis calls "the father of that guitar-driven kind of pop sound") to helm the band's upcoming studio album, which the group plans to begin recording in January. "Sources" tell the Van Halen News Desk that the members of VAN HALEN are "very eager to tour, and that they want to tour behind new material. Eddie Van Halen has been very busy during most of 2010 writing music," reads a posting on the site. "Alex and Wolfgang Van Halen often join Eddie in the 5150 studio and the three of them have been hard at work jamming and recording demos. The three Van Halens have been sending the music to David Lee Roth, who's adding the lyrics." Two of the site's "sources" have "heard some of the early versions of the tracks (without vocals) and were very pleased. The music is said to sound like straight ahead rock 'n' roll and 'very VAN HALEN.'" In addition, "the band is re-exploring Eddie's extensive library of unreleased songs and riffs, even reaching back to their early unreleased demos for added inspiration. The band is retooling and tweaking some of this mostly-unheard, incredible music, which have completely new lyrics from Roth. Eddie is even considering developing a song or two from the material that he wrote for 'The Wild Life' movie score in the mid-1980s."

AXL = G.O.A.T. ???

The readers of have voted Guns n' Roses frontman Axl Rose the greatest lead singer of all time, over such icons as Freddie Mercury, Robert Plant, Ronnie James Dio, John Lennon and Bruce Dickinson. says, "Forget the caricature of recent years and think back to the late 1980s -- he was dangerous, lean, angry, confrontational and controversial. The hot-headed, horny ginger stepchild of Steven Tyler and Robert Plant, a born rock star who made being fashionably late a lifestyle choice and started riots in the process."

Other singers to make the Top 30 are Paul McCartney, Jim Morrison, Mick Jagger, Roger Daltrey, Geddy Lee and Stevie Nicks. --Sal Cirrincione

1) Axl Rose (Guns n' Roses)
2) Freddie Mercury (Queen)
3) Robert Plant (Led Zeppelin)
4) Ronnie James Dio (Black Sabbath, Dio)
5) John Lennon (The Beatles)
6) Bruce Dickinson (Iron Maiden)
7) Thom Yorke (Radiohead)
8) Kurt Cobain (Nirvana)
9) Matt Bellamy (Muse)
10) Paul McCartney (The Beatles, Wings)
11) Jim Morrison (The Doors)
12) James Hetfield (Metallica)
13) Maynard James Keenan (Tool)
14) Mick Jagger (Rolling Stones)
15) James LaBrie (Dream Theater)
16) Bon Scott (AC/DC)
17) Steven Tyler (Aerosmith)
18) Roger Daltrey (The Who)
19) Geddy Lee (Rush)
20) Morrissey (The Smiths)
21) Liam Gallagher (Oasis)
22) Jack White (The White Stripes)
23) Joe Strummer (The Clash)
24) Stevie Nicks (Fleetwood Mac)
25) Iggy Pop (The Stooges)
26) Smokey Robinson (The Miracles)
27) Frank Black (The Pixies)
28) Diana Ross (The Supremes)
29) Debbie Harry (Blondie)
30) Martha Reeves (The Vandellas)

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

30 Years Later.....

Three decades ago today, John Lennon was shot to death outside his home in New York's Dakota building, and in the time since, the world has changed immeasurably ... and not necessarily for the better. And while fans can endlessly debate how things would've been different, the iconic musician's most lasting contribution to the planet is, and will always be, his music — songs of hope and ideals, protest and prosperity that still contain the power, today, to make us strive for a better tomorrow. Per usual, The Afternoon Road Show will pay tribute from 3 to 5pm with songs, memories, requests and audio archives from the fateful day in 1980 when the world lost John Lennon.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Tommy Lee + Sperm = Not What You Think

The Motley Crue drummer just fired off a letter to SeaWorld -- accusing the park of keeping Tilikum the whale in captivity because, "he is your chief sperm bank."
Tilikum -- as you may know -- made national headlines for being involved in the deaths of three people.
But Tommy is especially pissed about the way he believes SeaWorld extracts semen from Tilikum -- saying,
"We know from SeaWorld's own director of safety (as well as videos on the web) that the way you get his sperm is by having someone get into the pool and masturbate him with a cow's vagina filled with hot water."

Lee continues,
"Even in my wildest days with Motley Crue, I never could've imagined something so sick and twisted."

Tommy has called for the whale's release into the wild. SeaWorld has always maintained that the animals receive expert care at its parks.

The Dream is Over... Vince Neil on the Cutting Edge

MÖTLEY CRÜE singer Vince Neil and pro-skate partner Jennifer Wester became the second pair to be eliminated from ABC's newest reality show, "Skating With The Stars", after receiving the lowest combined judges' scores and audience vote.

"It was a lot of fun! It was really a great experience to re-learn something that I knew so long ago," Neil said after leaving. "There are some great skaters here and I'm really happy for everyone. Plus, the judges were nice to me!"

According to Digital Spy, here's what the judges — Olympian Johnny Weir, skating commentator Dick Button and celebrity choreographer Laurieann Gibson — said about Vince's final performance:

Johnny: Says that he's "proud and happy" that Vince took the judges' advice from past weeks but advises him to stretch his arms out and lengthen his body to "give us something gorgeous". (Technical Merit: 5 / Artistic Impression: 6)

Laurieann: Loves his "showmanship" and the way he lets the music move him and praises his choreography. (Technical Merit: 6 / Artistic Impression: 7)

Dick: Thinks it is a great compliment that Vince listened to past feedback and is glad that he seems to be more comfortable as the weeks go by. "I see the talent in you, and don't forget it!" he adds. (Technical Merit: 5 / Artistic Impression: 7)

Total: 36/60

Watch video footage of Vince's final performance below.

You Can Do It!

Queen's "We Will Rock You," "We are the Champions" and "Another One Bites the Dust" top a Yahoo! list of the top 10 best songs to motivate a team. Other classic rock songs to make the list include Bruce Springsteen's "Born to Run" and "Born in the U.S.A.," John Fogerty's "Centerfield" and Twisted Sister's "We're Not Gonna Take It."

1) Queen -- "We Will Rock You," "We are the Champions" & "Another One Bites the Dust"

2) Survivor -- "Eye of the Tiger" & "Let it Fly Now"

3) Twisted Sister -- "We're Not Gonna Take It"

4) Bruce Springsteen -- "Born to Run" & "Born in the U.S.A."

5) Chumbawamba -- "Tubthumping"

6) John Fogerty -- "Centerfield"

7) Black Eyed Peas -- "Let's Get it Started"

8) Europe -- "The Final Countdown"

9) Kool and the Gang -- "Celebration"

10) "Take Me Out to the Ballgame"

Monday, December 6, 2010

T.J. Stars again on "The Mayne Event"

Once again, our boy T.J. STARS in ESPN's "The Mayne Event" and drags along Aaron Rogers and Josh Sitton because that's what kind of guy he is.

Dear Ozzy.....

There’s a new Ozzy book on the way. It’s to be called Ask Dr. Ozzy, and is based around his regular health advice column for the Sunday Times. This will be published by Sphere in October, and written by Chris Ayres, who not only writes Ozzy’s column, but also did his autobiography, I Am Ozzy.

Casa Kaczynski FOR SALE

A 1.4-acre parcel of land in western Montana that was once owned by Unabomber Ted Kaczynski is on the market for $69,500.

The property is listed by John Pistelak Realty of Lincoln. Pistelak said he was in a meeting Friday morning and couldn’t immediately comment.

The listing offers potential buyers a chance to own a piece of “infamous U.S. history” and says the forested land “is obvi-ously very secluded.”

The Lincoln-area property, which had been listed at $154,500, does not have electricity or running water. Kaczynski was critical of technology.

The property does not include Kaczynski’s cabin. It is on display in the Newseum in Washington, D.C.

Kaczynski is serving a life sentence for a series of mail bombings over 17 years that killed three and injured 23.

Cup Size Choir

This might be the greatest gift you'll get this holiday season. Well, that is if you like half-naked women and music. Italian lingerie designer La Senza has created the Cup Size Choir -- seven women in their underwear singing seven different notes at your command. All you need is a computer keyboard. I don't know if she can hit the High Double D note but who's listening.
Check it out at

Friday, December 3, 2010


John Michael Osbourne... The Prince of Bleepin' Darkness... Engineer of the Crazy Train... Ozzy Osbourne.... OZZY... How ever you slice the birthday cake, Ozzy turns 62 today - that's just mid life in Ozzy-years. Happy Birthday Ozzy and Many More !!!

Hopefully... The Final Countdown: World's Worst Cover Bands Pt. II

If there is a God, this will be the final performance of "The Final Countdown" from this band. The group Europe is turning over in their graves... and they're not even dead yet... at least I don't think they are. Either way... UGH!

Th... Th... Th... That's Cool Folks!

if you're a fan of the classic Chuck Jones/Warner Bros. Animation like I am, you'll enjoy this live action version of the "Roadrunner vs. Wiley E. Coyote" cartoons of yore. It's done by Apache Pictures and the actor playing the Roadrunner actually looks a bit like the original. I don’t know if this is part of a show-reel or the beginning of a viral campaign for an energy drink. Whatever it is, it works better than Acme Rocket Skis. Shot on location in Moab, Utah.
Enjoy! Beep Beep!

Wiley Vs. Rhodes from ApachePictures on Vimeo.


AC/DC drummer Phil Rudd was convicted of drug possession yesterday in a New Zealand court. Police found 27 grams of marijuana on his boat in October. Rudd's lawyer had argued that a conviction could interfere with his touring with AC/DC, but the judge said, "It was not just an accident. You were blindly ignoring the law. You have been playing Russian roulette." Rudd was also ordered to pay a $250 fine and court fees.

Rudd, who's on his second tour of duty with AC/DC, is the only Australian-born member of the band.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

O U I J A Osbourne

You... yes YOU... can own you very own Ozzy Ouija Board Game. All you have to do is purchase a VIP Package for Ozzy's upcoming 2011 U.S. Tour ($1000) and you're 1/2 way to contacting the spirit of Randy Rhodes on the other side of the mountain. I've always thought that a Ozzy-themed version of "Life" would also be tons of fun.

Comfortably Dumb: World's Worst Cover Bands Part. 1

I think this may be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.... the friendship between the Afternoon Road Show and horrible cover bands on YouTube.
I refer to you "Exhibit A" below...
*WARNING* you have to be stoned to enjoy this Pink Floyd cover.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

And The Home of the Tone Deaf

Steven Tyler's version of "The Star-Spangled Banner" at the Indy 500 in 2001 is one of the 10 worst performances of the song, according to Billboard. During the song he changed the "home of the brave" to "home of the Indianapolis 500." Tyler came in at number-seven, with the top honor going to Kat DeLuna. Bret Michaels didn't make the list for his performance last month at the Ford 400 Grand NASCAR race in Florida, but the reviews haven't been favorable. He couldn't hit the high notes and was aided by a local singer named Nanette Molina.

1. Kat DeLuna - 2008
2. Roseanne Barr - 1990
3. Michael Bolton - 2003
4. Scott Stapp - 2005
5. Aaron Neville, Aretha Franklin and Dr. John - 2006
6. Jesse McCartney - 2009
7. Steven Tyler - 2001
8. R. Kelly - 2005
9. Keri Hilson - 2010
10. Josh Groban and Flea - 2010

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Psycho Shopper Clean Up Asile 4

Ahhh Christmas! A woman whose Black Friday tirade at Menards was caught on video might be getting more than she bargained for. Grand Chute police are seeking the public's help in identifying the young woman for questioning in connection with incidents at Menards and nearby WAL*MART. The cell phone video below shows the woman damaging merchandise and shouting obscenities at Menards employees. The video shows pandemonium erupt as store employees confront the woman, who cut ahead of other shoppers standing in a checkout line.

Street Fighting Men

Rolling Stone has compiled its list of the top feuds in rock and topping the list are Mick Jagger and Keith Richards. Rounding out the Top Five are Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel at number two, Steven Tyler and Joe Perry at three, Pete Townshend and Roger Daltrey at four, and brothers Ray and Dave Davies at five. --Sal Cirrincione

1) Mick Jagger and Keith Richards -- The Rolling Stones

2) Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel -- Simon & Garfunkel

3) Steven Tyler and Joe Perry - Aerosmith

4) Pete Townshend and Roger Daltrey -- The Who

5) Ray and Dave Davies -- The Kinks

6) John Lennon, Paul McCartney and George Harrison -- The Beatles

7) David Gilmour and Roger Waters -- Pink Floyd

8) Don and Phil Everly -- The Everly Brothers

9) Liam and Noel Gallagher - Oasis

10) Axl Rose and Slash -- Guns N' Roses

11) Eddie Van Halen and David Lee Roth -- Van Halen Goes Down

MÖTLEY CRÜE singer Vince Neil suffered an awkward fall on the ice during his appearance on the latest episode of ABC's newest reality show, "Skating With The Stars". Sean Young and Denis Petukhov also became the first pair to be eliminated after receiving the lowest combined score from the first two performances, managing only 64 out of a possible 120 points.

According to Digital Spy, here's what the judges — Olympian Johnny Weir, skating commentator Dick Button and celebrity choreographer Laurieann Gibson — said about Vince's second performance:

Johnny: Says that he saw an "aura of intensity" when watching Vince as his musical knowledge has come in handy. However, urges him to concentrate on "basic skating" due to the fall Vince suffered during the performance. (Technical Merit: 3 / Artistic Impression: 6)

Laurieann: Calls Vince "masculine" and loves the drama and musicality of the performance. "Technically, the ice skating was bad, but just for the artistic side, amazing!" (Technical Merit: 6 / Artistic Impression: 6)

Dick: Tells Vince not to worry about making mistakes but advises him to work on his skating skills. "I enjoy your personality on the ice and I'm having a great time watching you!" he adds. (Technical Merit: 4 / Artistic Impression: 5)

Total: 30/60

Watch video footage of Vince's second performance below.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Welcome to the Lawsuit... We've Got Funds and Claims

( - Axl Rose is suing Activision Blizzard Inc, the owner of the hit video game Guitar Hero. Axl is suing the company for over $20 million dollars for fraud breach of contract and unjust enrichment, among others claims.

See COURT DOCUMENTS: Axl Rose Suing Guitar Hero Makers

In the court filing, Rose sates that he is the majority owner of the trademarks and licensing associated with the band (Guns N' Roses). Axl has an issue with Guitar Hero III using "Welcome To The Jungle" without his permission.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010


Medical researchers tried to discover the scents which turn people on the most. They used a complex device which is able to measure blood flow in your lap. Doctors say the more blood flowing down there, the more likely it is that you're aroused -- or soon will be. (The same is true for women as much as men).

Younger men had a craving for the aroma of pumpkin pie. Amateur shrinks say it's because the smell reminds them of home-cooked meals and their mother's unconditional love. Oddly, doctors also said a combo of black licorice & doughnut aroma seemed to turn guys on. When it comes to women, they respond to the fresh scents of sliced cucumber, candies and a clean home.

Vince Stinks on Ice

Neil stayed on his feet in his performance (stunner), which aired last night but only managed to come LAST in the judges' grades, with just 28 out of 60. UGH!

Vince's scores:

Technical Merit 6 / 4 / 4 Artistic 6 / 4 / 4
MANLINESS 0 / 0 /0

Monday, November 22, 2010

TSA = T & A

On the verge of one of the busiest travel weeks of the year my advice is don't let the additional probing of the TSA Agents freak you out. Don't think your basic rights and freedoms as an American are being violated with each stroke of the hand or wand - they are. Just do your part, lay back and take it like the Patriot you are and enjoy your flight.

Why So Serious ???

An Akron, Ohio woman had her silent moment on the toilet interrupted when a robber wearing a clown mask busted into her home in an attempt to burglarize it.

20-year-old Cory Buckley managed to escape 70-year-old Jacqueline Cutright's home with $28 and roughly $1,000 worth of costume jewelry and her Ford Escort.

Buckley was nabbed by cops shortly after the theft when he rolled the Escort and was apprehended. He confessed his crimes immediately.

(Originally reported by