Damned Dirty Ape!

Owners of a plant store in Richardson, Texas are looking for the sneaky monkey that broke into their store and made off with hundreds of dollars worth of plants. Surveillance camera footage appears to show the little furry felon passing plants over the wall to a human accomplice. Charlton Heston was right.
Damn you all to hell !!!!!!
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Monkey Do Monkey See

'SCUSE ME WHILE I KISS THIS GUY

You've done it and I've done it and despite people yelling at us we continue to do it.
It's an adventure in "mishearance"- I speak of singing the WRONG lyrics to songs - even though we KNOW the right lyrics - it's just more fun OUR way. Right?
So "Hold me close now Tony Danza" and enjoy the embarrassment of yourself and others with this website of mis-quoted/sung lyrics - REMEMBER ... we're laughing AT you not with you. http://www.kissthisguy.com/
J.J.

POST IT... FILM IT ...LOVE IT!!!

THERE'S NOT MUCH TO SAY BESIDES "WOW!!!" OVER THIS STOP-MOTION VIDEO FEATURING POST IT NOTES. KEEP IN MIND THAT EVERY FRAME IS PHOTOGRAPHED AND THEN THE FILMMAKER HAS TO REARRANGE THE ENTIRE PRESENTATION AGAIN FOR EVERY STEP - TRULY AMAZING CONSIDERING ALL THE TIME SPENT TO DO THIS.
ENJOY
J.J.

Willy Wonka is Gonna' Be Pissed

Oompa Loompa doompadee dall
This little person was detained at a mall.
Oompa Loompa doompadee dee
He was later set free as you soon will see...



Oompa impersonator Donnie Davis was detained at the Broward County Mall in Florida last week, after he was caught promoting his upcoming show at the Seminole Coconut Creek for Jeff Beacher's Madhouse without proper permission. There were actually a bunch of Oompas at the mall at the time -- but Donnie was the only one that didn't get away when cops showed up to stop them.
Donnie was eventually let go without being cited -- but was held long enough for someone to snap that awesome pic.
J.J.

Light Up Be Happy

Italian Chandelier...

There is an e-mail going around the internet that says that of all the sex positions the Italian Chandelier (AKA Italian Hanger or Italian Banker) burns the most calories. Here is a 'supposed' list of the positions and how many calories they burn:

Positions
Missionary 12 Calories
69 lying down 78 Calories
69 standing up 112 Calories
Wheelbarrow 216 Calories
Doggy Style 326 Calories
Italian Chandelier 912 Calories

This must be a list for women only because missionary only burns 12 calories. Anyway, in this position the female definitely is a busy person. She lies on her partner (facing upward) and arches her back to allow penetration. Then she has to do a crab-like back-bendy motion to get the motion going.

I don't know if you will really burn 912 calories but young Italian women always look great on TV despite the fact that they eat a lot of sausage (salcissa).