Back... Back... Back... BAD!

The article...
Turn it off!: The 50 WORST Sports Announcers in Sports Today
(By Jay Busbee) can be found at the link below.

http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/post/Turn-it-off-The-50-worst-announcers-in-sports-?urn=top,137612&cp=3#comments

Copy. Paste. Hate.

J.J.

Jordan's JACKHOLES - Episode 1

It's a moral imperative that I do this...."Jordan's Jackholes".
There is soooo much Good/Bad viral video on the web that I'm afraid you're missing some of the Best/Worst of it. And I can't sleep knowing that.
Plus, let's be honest, what else are you going to do at work... work?
HA!
I need to devote at least one weekly blog segment to people attempting impossible stunts, getting caught in salaciously stupid acts, dumb criminals (as if are there any other kind), animals attacking, drunk celebs (or celebs attacking drunk animals) and radio D.J.s doing idiotic things with "Sham Wows". D'oh!
In general... moronic activities that show no bias toward church, creed or political affiliation... but are simply placed on the world-wide inter-web for us to enjoy from a nice, safe distance.
*Whew*
Let's begin down under, in Australia, where we see a news report on two criminals attempting (poorly) to escape - after being handcuffed AND pepper-sprayed- and being caught (not by the long arm of the law) but the tall, static presence of.... a light pole. Enjoy.



Until Next Time... Do Not Attempt At Home - go to your neighbors.
J.J.

Walking on a Thin (Mint) Line

It's that time of year again when workplaces turn into a din of Daisy Go Rounds and we Do Si Dos a delicate dance called "Buy My Child's Cookies" - no pressure.
First off... I think Girl Scouts is a great organization and proceeds from the Girl Scout Cookie Program supports programs for girls and training for volunteers across the area. But really... I just LOVE the cookies.
A box of Thin Mints in the freezer chased with a glass of milk = heaven.
But the overwhelming guilt brought on by the den mothers/fathers of the G.S.'s takes the pleasure out of it. Example: Parent #1 approaches and gives you the standard, "Hey my daughter is selling Girl Scout Cookies! Are you interested?"
Uh... yeah. Of Course I am!
But then how do I tell parents two through 14 that I already favored parent 1's child over theirs?
PLUS in the back of my head I fear I'm somehow responsible if she comes up one Lemon Chalet box short on the cookie selling badge. Thus leading to a life of Creme... er... crime.
And people wonder why my freezer is stocked like a dorm fridge after parent's weekend this time every year. I can't say no to those precious, desperate little faces.... or their kids.
But maybe I don't have to.
I inquired about the cookie-selling policy in our office and found out the station had adopted an unofficial/official stance on the out-and-out shilling of Samoas and Shortbreads. I believe parents can have the order forms at their desks but cannot openly solicit the peanut buttery goodness of Tagalongs to anyone unless approached first.
Ahhhh... the pressure's off... let the dunking begin!
P.S.
The Peanut Butter Sandwich (a.k.a. Do Si Dos) is salmonella safe.
Whew!
Until Next Time...
J.J.

OHHHHH-BAMA!!!!

Alright you THOUGHT it but I have to be the one who SAYS it (or blogs it in this case).
As I'm watching all the presidential inauguration festivities (all $100K of them...recession?) Were my thoughts on whether the country was going to be better off and are we now seeing day one of the new New Deal?
No.
I was wondering if President Obama and 1st Lady Michelle were going to do it, make sweet post election love in the White House that night.
Don't you judge me ... you were thinking it too!
And apparently I wasn't the only one thinking how "lovey" the 1st Couple looked. Exhibit A.



"Fisting"? Really? Fist-Bumping - which is the technical street term according to the Urban Dictionary... granted, doesn't sound much better either. Touching was fine in this case. I would think an expert on body language/love/sex would've known the popular connotation of the term "fisting". But, with all things, consider the source *cough* Fox News. Whom, if any entity knows plenty about fisting... it's them. And also knows plenty about "footing" which means inserting one's foot into one's own mouth thus occupying the space in one's head where one's brain used to be if it weren't sqarely lodged up one's fair and balanced ass.
Until Next Time...
J.J.

THIS SUCKS!!!

Y'know the old saying,
"No good deed goes unpunished."
Don't I know it sister.
In the spirit of community I brought in a plastic Halloween pumpkin and loaded it with candy. My thought was that it would bring people together in the harmony that only a free candy dish can. My office (shared by Elwood and Roxanne) would be this calm oasis of gathering where co-workers would walk hand in hand, as equals, while sharing Laffy Taffy.
Boy do I feel like a Dum Dum.
Going into it I knew that some would contribute and make an effort to "feed the pumpkin" but the majority of the time it would be left to me - fine - buy the pumpkin fill the pumpkin. I decided after filling the pumpkin numerous times (with no contributions from my fellow employees) to institute a you eat it you fill it policy... I'm beginning to regret that decision- as pictured above.
WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? I'm pretty sure the pictured sucker came from either the 13th consecutive level of hell or the island of misfit candy. I bring in Smarties, Sprees and SweetTarts. Other people are bringing in candy that isn't fit for the depression-era candy dish on your grandmas coffee table - minus the eye glass lenses, batteries, cough drops, and buttons.
For now.
What was once a pinnacle of pumpkin pride has been reduced to a recepticle of unwanted, bottom-of-the-glove-box sticks of gum and unwrapped cash register mints.
Thanks for coming together and celebrating in candy equality.
Can't wait for someone to replace my aloe Kleenex box with 80 grain sandpaper.
Until next time...
J.J.