Friday, February 5, 2010


Seems that with every cartoon, video game and board game turned into movie and movie re-vamped for a "more modern" audience.... a bit of my childhood dies a little more every day. Here's the next nail in innocence's coffin.... the NEW Monopoly game.
Monopoly has now been updated for it's 75th Anniversary.
Fine. I can handle some updating but... REALLY?
You'll first notice that it's round instead of square.
The metal game pieces are replaced by plastic - I'm assuming a cadmium excuse is to follow.
The "boot" has gotten the boot and is no longer a part of the game pieces.
You collect $2-MILLION dollars for passing go - instead of the paltry $200 - this to reflect increasing allowances.
Here's the biggest change... instead of appointing someone the "banker" and having them doll out the money from the ca$h drawer - you now have plastic debit cards and an ATM that keeps track of your account! Great way to teach kids (and adults) to handle their money and get themselves into credit card debt. Half the gamesmanship of Monopoly was stealing or hording money from the rest of the players. I'm not bragging but there was NEVER a time when I was the banker that I lost a game of Monopoly. NEVER!!!! if you lost a game of monopoly when ypou were the banker you're stupid or weren't trying very hard.
Now, to this vile mix, add clips of "popular" songs from Rihanna and Beyonce and you have a game I refuse to play because if I grab a Community Chest "go to jail" card (if those exist) and hear"Umbrella" you may as well sent me down the Green Mile because I ain't comin' back for more.

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